1:14 p.m. - 2008-05-05
I AM WHO I AM
Monday, May 05, 2008
Currently Listening
I Don't Know Where I'm Going But I'm On My Way
HERE IS THE LATEST CHALLENGE FROM KWEEN OF THE QUEENS........
DEFINE WHO YOU ARE
Here are your parameters:
This DOES NOT mean what you do for a living, or who you are in your family. I don't want you to write about being a Father or Mother or Daughter or Son. In fact, leave your family and your job out of this entirely. I want you to tell us what makes YOU tick. How do you see yourself? Are you talented? Frustrated? Happy? When you think about this definition, think about YOURSELF. What makes you who you are? What dreams do you think about? What does it take to let you feel that you are worthy or good or respected? Who are you? Make this your own. You can write or post pictures or put up your art or poetry, whatever you like! We love seeing it!
Let's start off by saying that I don't drink alcohol. Not that I wouldn't enjoy having a drink on occasion but it upsets my stomach and I get cramps and get sick so there is no point in drinking. but I digress...
Who am I? I always used to identify myself as being Mrs........, the mother of D, daughter of xxxx, sister of xxxxxxxx, (actually the oldest sister of 4. ) Then when I was working, my identity was as a claims secretary and then claims representative and then claims adjuster and finally Senior Claims adjuster of xxxxx. But we are not supposed to use those identities as our definition of self.
So....WHO. AM. I..?
Am I unique?
I like to think I am a good friend. I try to be supportive of my family and my few good friends. I like to help them to solve problems, help them find things they are looking for, give them a shoulder to cry on, give them encouragement,....just BE a good friend.
But I really like to be alone.
I love to read, I enjoy going to the public library and bringing home stacks of books to read. I read on many subjects. I like autobiographies, I like books of photographs, I love to read stories about families, especially generations of families. I have a few favorite authors and when a new book comes out that one of them has written, I can hardly wait to read it.
But I don't like self-help books.
I have enjoyed watching many reality shows these past few years. I really would never live the life style that many of the people do and I don't always agree with the choices that they make but I do enjoy watching them go through the process of the program and to find out who will win in the end.
But I would never put myself in the position of being watched by millions of people.
I like being married. I like having a family. I like to keep in touch with my family and friends. I enjoy e-mail and my computer. I like writing a blog. I love my 3 cats. I like to go to the casinos and play the penny slots. I like having lunch out with a friend and talking for several hours, catching up on all our ups and downs in life. I wish I still had my mother around to talk about her childhood and her marriages. She never discussed her life very often and I wish I would have realized I could have asked her about her life.
But I just kept quiet because I didn't want to upset her and now she is gone.
I know I need to take better care of myself as I am getting older. I used to do a much better job of it. I don't get sick very often but I wonder if I am tempting fate by not eating properly. I don't care about fine dining or fancycars or expensive clothing and furniture. I like my home as it is. I need to clean out the clutter. I think about doing that very often. I make small dents in it but I need to start getting rid of lots of the things I have kept because they belonged to someone in the family. I always feel like I need to keep those items as a remembrance of the person.
I know I don't have to keep all that stuff but I still do.
My husband says I always try to find the good in everyone. I often give them an "excuse" for their behavior in order to believe in them. I guess I do want people to be better than they may behave. I think I am optimistic. I look forward to every day. I want to enjoy the sunshine and the blue skies instead of dwelling on the few dark clouds that are on the horizon. I like feeling excited about something that is coming up in the future. I like making plans to do things like vacations and family gatherings. I do believe the glass is half full and not half empty.
I don't like to practice doing things. I like to sit down and write my thoughts and then go back and "tweak" them.
I hate to try on clothes because they never fit the way I want them too. That probably goes back to not eating as I should! When I see something in a catalog or in the store, I often just "know" it is the perfect piece of clothing for me and I won't even try it on. Sometimes, I do get home and it doesn't fit but most of the time, it is just fine
I love to go to the card store and read cards for long periods of time. I often buy cards not knowing why. And then in a few weeks, the card turns out to be the perfect one for someone I care about. The same thing happens occasionally when I buy a gift. I don't know why I am drawn to that particular item but it does reveal itself later. I would like to be psychic but I don't think I have as much ability as my sisters.
I have a set of tarot cards that I have never opened. I should do that.
I have many things I would like to do but I do have a tendency, since I retired, to procrastinate. I can easily put it off until tomorrow when I know I have all week to get to it.
But sometimes, I get into the mood and I work until I have completed my task.
So.......I have written this blog entry. I didn't procrastinate in doing it and I am done. I don't know if I answered Who I am.....
but I AM who I AM and I AM happy.
