12:37 p.m. - 2007-08-23
THINGS ARE CHANGING
Just a quick edit to the last blog.....
When my mother said in a letter that "Terri bore up well" having to spend time with Aunt Florie....what she meant was that Aunt Florie had a short term memory problem. She couldn't remember what she said or was told from one minute to the next. She was constantly asking who I was, why was I there, where was Jack, her husband. did I know Jack, how did I know Jack, wasn't Jack handsome? Why was I there, who was I, who was Patricia, did I know that Jack had a sister he had never met? Who was I, why was I there, Where was Jack, did I know Jack? and on and on and on.....
One day the twins had all day sessions and Florie and I were on our own. Jack did not want to leave Florie alone in a strange city or even in the hotel room so I was asked to take her with me. We planned on walking downtown, shopping and having lunch. When I realized that Florie could not remember who I was and was confused on why she was with me; I was very concerned about having her out in public for fear that I would lose her or that she would get frightened and want me to leave her alone. So, I managed to get her out of a store, we had lunch and then we went back to the hotel and I stayed with her until Uncle Jack and my mother got back. Needless to say, I didn't want to have dinner with them that night. I wanted to order Room Service and have silence!!!!! My mother understood perfectly!
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
OATMEAL & KISSES - 1990
After the twin study, Jack and Patricia returned to their own homes. The Research project also included external examinations. Each of the twins was told they should have their eyes examined. Patricia was told she might have the beginning of cataracts. She did see her doctor and did have some laser surgery which corrected the problem.
The twins continued to correspond. Jack became quite interested in researching his family tree and often requested pictures from Patricia. He also shared pictures he had of their older brother and their father. Whenever he discovered something new about the family; he would let Patricia know.
Mary, Patricia�s youngest daughter, was pregnant with her first child. She was living in Connecticut with her husband. They were almost ready to purchase their first house. She asked Patricia to come out when the baby was born so she would have someone to talk to and someone to help her out.
About the third week of January, 1991, Patricia did go out but she didn�t seem to have much energy. She didn�t cook and didn�t seem as interested or as excited about the new baby as Mary had expected. Since Mary was breastfeeding her baby, about the only time she got any rest was when Patricia would hold the baby. Mary was doing everything else including the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and all.
Time passed by quickly. Patricia was enjoying her life. She spent a lot of time reading and resting at home. She was involved in a line dance group with the Battell Senior Center. They put on a little demonstration downtown one warm summer day. After their performance, she sat down and noticed her clothes felt tight. She didn�t think she had gained weight but was very surprised to see her abdomen bloat out in front of her eyes. When it didn�t go away after a couple of days; she went to her family doctor.
After several questions and some prodding; she admitted to her doctor that she had not been feeling well for several weeks. He discovered what seemed to be a large hernia. She was sent to a specialist and hernia surgery was set up. She came through the surgery but just didn�t seem to regain her strength. She spent even more time reading and napping at home.
A few months later when Mary planned her baby�s christening; Patricia was not doing much better. Terri went out for the special occasion instead of Patricia. Terri was the godmother and felt more like she was the grandmother. She was so happy to spend time with Mary and her husband and of course, the new baby girl, Anna Elizabeth.
Patricia�s family doctor was also Terri�s doctor. When Terri went in for a regular appointment, the doctor asked her about her mother, Patricia. Terri told him that she wasn�t herself; she seemed to be extremely tired and was becoming like a recluse at times. He asked Terri to urge Patricia to make another appointment.
In 1992, as a result of further testings, it was determined that Patricia was having some serious problems with her liver. She had been diagnosed with Hepatitis several years before. This was before the medical profession knew much about the disease. They thought she had eaten some tainted fish or possibly been exposed to the Hepatitis as a result of surgery. She had fallen a few winters before, breaking her ankle. She had surgery to put pins in and it was possible that she was given some affected blood in a transfusion. She had never been a drinker or abused drugs so they were not certain how the Hepatitis had occurred.
Patricia was given several pills to take and continued to live by herself at home. She seemed to get better. Mary brought Anna Elizabeth for a visit and Bonnie had come back for a visit too. Patricia and her daughters and her grand daughter had a great time together.
The next time, Terri saw her doctor; he asked about Patricia�s living arrangements and encouraged Terri to talk to Patricia about moving where she would have daily contact with someone. He told Terri that the disease Patricia had was terminal. Hopefully the medication would slow down the progression of the disease but it would never go away.
Dean and Terri had discussed asking Patricia to move in with them for several years, especially after Raymond died. Patricia could not keep up with the maintenance on her house and really had no idea what she needed to do when a problem came up. Now the doctor was implying that this disease was progressing and that Patricia needed to be pushed into getting more help.
Terri had several conversations with Patricia in which she always said " No, she was just fine living alone." Terri didn�t want to take away her mother�s independence and certainly didn�t want Patricia to feel that she was so sick she couldn�t make her own decisions.
Her mother had another terrible problem when the hernia came back. She didn�t call Terri until two days later to take her to the hospital. Terri was asked to go back to the ER area to help her mother dress. It was the first time, she saw the huge hernia and she nearly passed out from the shock. It was then that Terri knew that Patricia was in real trouble. She needed another surgery but her doctor said she was too weak to handle it. She was obviously losing weight. She just didn�t have her usual desire to go anywhere. She had aged and gotten dramatically frail and seeing her without her usual clothing made it very apparent.
Terri had lunch with her mother one Saturday, gently asked Patricia to come live with them again. Patricia said she didn�t want to be a burden. Dean had come to have lunch with them and Terri took advantage of his strength and support. Terri told Patricia it was more of a burden to wonder every time the phone rang if Patricia was hurt or had been lying on the floor because no one was there to help her. Terri told her it would be a huge relief to all of them if she would move in. Daniel was graduated from high school, had a job and he had moved out and was living on his own. There was a large bedroom with a full bath right next to the bedroom on the main level that Patricia could have as her own. It was large enough for all her bedroom furniture plus a large overstuffed chair and ottoman. She would have room for her own televison and have her own walk-in closet. Dean and Terri both worked full-time so Patricia would be alone during the day and have privacy.
Patricia finally agreed to move in. Terri and Dean and Daniel started to go through all the things in Patricia�s house because they would have to sell the house. Patricia was told to pick her paint color for the bedroom so they could paint before she moved in. They made all the arrangements to move her personal belongings that she would need.
As of March, 1993, Patricia was now a member of the household. A couple of weeks went by, they were all settling in and things seemed to be going well. Terri had ordered address labels for Patricia as a surprise so she could write to all her relatives about her new home. Patricia admitted within days that she was very happy in her new home and loved it. She said she would never regret moving in and felt so safe and secure there.
Dean, Terri and Daniel went through Patricia's house. There was very little of value except for personal items. They gave away a lot of the old furniture. By an odd quirk of fate, a few days later, a storm came through and a tree fell through the roof. Terri would not take Patricia to see the damage because she knew it would upset her. Terri made arrangements with the insurance company and the house was repaired, repainted and actually made to look a bit more up to date. The house was put up for sale and a few weeks after that, a realtor called. They had discovered the bathroom toilet leaked and all the floors and carpet were damaged. Another claim was filed and again the house was repaired. By replacing the old carpet with a nice new up-to-date color, replacing the old linoleum tile with a more modern press-on tile color; repainting the walls ,and replacing the old metal kitchen cabinets with shelves; the house actually looked better than it ever had before.
Raymond had considered himself the do-it-your-self man and had rigged up some varied little projects that actually did nothing for the house over several years. Once the tree came through the roof and the toilet leaked; it allowed Terri to get the old stuff torn out, get some clean-up done which, in turn, saved the insurance company money and made the house look much more up-to-date. It wasn't too long after the repairs were complete that the house was sold.
The hardest part was the day of the closing. Terri went through the house to say "goodbye". It made her feel so sad to think that her mother never got to live in the house after the repairs were done. It looked so much better than it had before. Patricia never asked to see the house and so Terri didn't take any pictures for her.
Patricia was not getting better. There were days when Patricia was very alert and days when she was so confused. Terri could always tell if it was a good day because Patricia loved to watch Jeopardy and Wheel Of Fortune. If she couldn�t answer the questions quickly; Terri knew it was a bad day. She became confused about little things. She couldn�t remember how to work the microwave. She forgot how to turn on the gas burner. She spilled food all over the house. Then she would not eat because she was afraid she would get sick. She was losing weight and becoming more frail looking. Even though Terri put all of Patricia�s pills out for her to take; she often would not take them. Terri was never sure if Patricia swallowed the pills or if she just put them back in the pill bottles.
Patricia would try to walk around the block every day to get some fresh air. The neighbor who lived in the townhouse attached to Dean and Terri�s stopped Terri one afternoon to tell her that Patricia had tried to walk around the block and got so tired and confused; she sat on a bench in the neighbor�s garden to rest. Sharon had been a nurse and realized Patricia�s confusion and her exhaustion so she sat with her until Patricia was able to walk back into the house. Sharon said she would keep her eye out for Patricia when she was out.
Terri continued to have conversations with the family doctor. He was extremely supportive and told her he would do everything he could to help ease Patricia through this process.
During the week of July 4th, 1993, Mary came home with her husband and Anna for a visit. Bonnie drove up from south of Indianapolis for a few days and everyone had a lovely time together. One afternoon, Mary and her husband were going to drive up to Chicago for the day. Anna was asleep in the basement family room and Terri was on vacation at home. Patricia had walked out of her bedroom to see Mary and her husband. Right after they walked out of the door and drove away, Patricia told Terri she needed to go to the hospital. She said she was in extreme pain and she didn�t think she could walk.
Terri was absolutely frantic and so upset. Why did Patricia let Mary and her husband leave if she knew she had to go to the hospital? What was Terri going to do with Anna? All she could think of was how was she going to get her mother into the car to go to the ER? As she was trying to back the car up into the garage at an angle to make the walk from the kitchen to the car shorter; her neighbor drove up.
It must have been a gift from God. Terri quickly told Bruce she needed help. She explained the situation; he got Sharon (who just happened to be off work that day). Sharon said she would stay in the house so when Anna woke up and if Mary and her husband called; she could explain. Bruce somehow managed to pick Patricia up in his arms and carried her to the car where Terri was waiting to drive her to the ER. It was like a well-oiled machine the way it all fell into place.
When she got to the hospital, the orderly got Patricia out of the car and took her in. Terri was filling out the paperwork. After a brief exam and a phone call to the family doctor; Terri was told that Patricia would be admitted. Terri called her husband to tell him what had happened and went home where she thanked Sharon for staying. Shortly after that, Mary and her husband came home and were advised on what had happened.
Mary and her family had to return home that weekend. Patricia was stablized in the hospital, Bonnie had also returned home and things had calmed down once again. The doctor told Terri he was monitoring Patricia's progress.
But.....how long would that last?
