2:04 p.m. - 2007-08-07
Years apart
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
OATMEAL & KISSES
1952
Although the family had settled into a routine at N. Clark St., the relationship between Donald and Patricia was changing. They bickered when they were home together. Donald was busy with his work and his photography. He also liked to play golf with some of his business customers. He continued to spend less and less time at home.
Patricia was home with 3 children under the age of 6. She didn't have much time for outside interests. She did enjoy reading and listening to music. Even though she came from a long line of writers and poets, she didn't take the time putting her thoughts into written words. She wasn�t sure just what was wrong in the marriage but she knew there was trouble.
She kept trying to figure out what she could do to fix it. She felt very vulnerable. Her mother was gone, her step-father, Bill, was busy with his new wife. He had invented a feature for a sink and had sold it to Sears and Roebuck. He was doing better financially than he had ever imagined. Patricia didn�t want to burden Bill with her problems. He was finally living the life he had always dreamed of having. Her brothers and sisters were grown and scattered all over the country busily working on making their hopes and dreams come true.
She wrote to Aunt Lucille asking for advice. Aunt Lucille suggested that Patricia try again to contact her birth father. Patricia fantacized about moving to Oklahoma and spend time with her father and her twin. She thought it would be a wonderful way to get to know the family she had lost at such a young age. Patricia called the Oklahoma telephone assistance operator and got the important phone number.
Patricia finally got her nerve up and made the call. The phone rang and then someone answered. Patricia explained that her mother had been Josephine and her birth certificate said Arthur T. Hill was her father. Before she could say another word, the woman on the other end of the phone interrupted her and told her that they had no desire to talk to her. She was not to call the home again. They didn�t want to hear from her and she was not welcome in the family. With that, the phone was slammed down and the call was disconnected.
Patricia now felt that she was truly alone. Her birth father didn�t want her, her mother was dead. Her step-father was busy making arrangements to move to California on the insistence of his wife. Her marriage was falling apart. She had 3 little girls to take care of and she knew, if the marriage ended; she would probably also lose the love and companionship of her sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law. Most of all, she would lose Leonette. She was full of despair. What was she going to do?
Leonette was quite upset about the problems as well. She had conversations with her son several times and told him she didn't want him to abandon his family like his own father did. She reminded him that Patricia had no job and no experience as a working mother. She also reminded him how tough it had been on their family when Leonette had to work outside the home. She told him he had a responsibility as the father of 3 little girls to work this out. Donald did understand and respected his mother's point of view. However, he just wasn�t satisfied with his life as it was. He was sure things could be better, for everyone involved.
After several weeks of thinking and mulling over all the possibilities, Patricia made a decision. And Donald made his own decision; he moved out of the apt they all shared into a one room boarding house.
One day Terri went with her mother to an office. While her mother was talking to an attorney; Terri stayed with the secretary who showed her how she could type her name using the manual typewriter. Terri worked very hard to type. When her mother came out of the office; Patricia had tears in her eyes but she didn't explain why.
After the divorce had been filed in 1952 and Donald had moved out of the Chicago apt; Patricia had moved to Niles, Michigan. She asked her Uncle James Leonard for help and he agreed. Her 3 young daughters would live with Uncle James Leonard and Aunt "Cookie" on a farm where they lived and worked. The girls didn't understand why they had to live there but they were excited to live with chickens and a cat and dog. Terri had been treated for Rheumatic Fever a few months before. She was still following the doctor's orders for rest and good food. Living out in the country seemed to be a good solution to some of the problems. Patricia found a job and started saving her money. She was hoping to go to business school, get a better paying job and get her girls back with her. She had no idea how long it would take but she was determined.
In the early part of 1953, the divorce was final. Patricia had already moved out. Donald was trying to make amends with Leonette. He went back to the restaurant in Logans Square in Chicago that he used to frequent and took a date. The hostess he had often talked with, (who had a daughter a couple of years older than his daughter, Terri,) still worked there. She waited on him and left him her phne number in a message in the menu. They talked, he assured her that he was divorced, they dated and they got married in August, 1953.
By now Bill Drain had relocated to California but his youngest daughter, Kathleen refused to live with him and his new wife. She was welcomed into Aunt Lucille�s home and began a new chapter in her life. Patricia�s other sister, Bettie, had married and cousin Norma was dating a doctor. All their lives seemed to be settling down again to a more regular routine.
After a few months of saving, Patricia was able to move into the YWCA in South Bend, Indiana. South Bend was only a few miles from Niles, Michigan so she was still close to her little girls. She had a job and also attended a secretarial school for a few months. She was hired by GMAC in a secretarial position. She didn't know how to drive so she had to find a place that was on a bus line. Uncle Jim would pick her up on weekends a couple of times a month so she could visit with her girls. Sometimes she took a bus back and forth to see them. It wasn't the best solution but it was working and Patricia was hopeful that the future would be bright again.
In the meantime, Donald�s sister, Virginia and her husband Emerson did not have any children. They were still living in Minonk, Il. Emerson continued to ran the grocery store across the street from their pretty house. Virginia had always been very fond of Terri and had purchased adorable little dresses for her as a toddler. They asked Patricia if Terri could spend a couple of weeks with them in the summer and visit with her other cousins. After the visit; they asked if Terri could live with them in Minonk, Il. Patricia did not want to split her children up and refused to separate the girls. She didn�t tell anyone it was because she had been separated from her twin brother. She just couldn�t bear the idea that the same thing could happen to her own little girls.
By this time Uncle James Leonard and Aunt Vernice had moved a few times themselves. They usually worked on a farm and had a house provided as part of the pay. They moved from Niles, Michigan to Rochester, In; and Royal Center, In. while the girls lived with them.
Terri and Ginny had the opportunity to attend a one room school for a school semester. They liked the school bus and the school itself. They especially liked the hot lunch that was brought to the school every day by a bus. They had a lot of friends at school and thrived on the farm life style. They also liked having the cats and dogs for pets. They played outside most of the time and enjoyed the fresh air and home cooking.
Aunt Vernice was such a good cook, she had acquired the nickname of Cookie early in her marriage. Terri told her one day that she knew why that was her name. When Aunt Vernice asked why; Terri said, "Well, because you are a GOOD cooker!"
Uncle Jim and Aunt Cookie had never had children of their own. They had fostered a little boy named Timmy when he was about 1 year old. But his mother refused to let them adopt him, so Timmy was taken from them. In spite of very little experience with young children, they were very good to the girls. Aunt Cookie let them play and sing and dress up. She made their few dolls some doll clothes for Christmas presents using an old treadle Singer sewing machine. She saved little scraps of feed bags and sewed little quilts for the dolls. Sometimes, they dressed the little kittens and puppies who seemed to appear on a regular basis in the doll clothes. But the girls missed their mother, especially Terri and Ginny, who remembered her most.
Patricia continued to look for better employment. She worked for GMAC in South Bend, In. for a short period. She got a job as a proof reader for the South Bend Tribune. She would read the stories and make corrections in the grammar, spelling or any other visual mistake before the newspaper articles were printed. She was finally able to find an affordable apartment. It was in a converted attic. It was on Main St., across from Memorial Hospital. It had a small kitchen, bathroom, large livingroom and dining area and a large room which could hold 2 single beds and a double bed. Even better it was only a couple of blocks from Krogers, a laundromat, a doctor, a drugstore, and about 6 blocks from the library. She was ready to bring her children home to live with her. It was the summer of 1955.
The girls were would attend school at James Madison Elementary in South Bend, In. Patricia found a neighborhood woman who had 2 daughters and a son. Katie was willing to take care of the girls after school and have Bonnie at her home half a day since she was starting in kindergarten. She provided a home cooked lunch for the girls because there was no lunch program at school. Terri and Katie's oldest daughter became good friends and all the children were happy to play together on a daily basis.
The girls enjoyed attending school at James Madison Elementary. It was only 2 blocks away. All the children in the neighborhood walked to and from school. Most of the neighborhood children played together. They played Kick the Can, Red Rover, Hide and Seek, Tag, Cowboys and Indians. The girls roller skated around the block. On Main St. where Terri, Ginny and Bonnie lived, the sidewalk pitched enough that they could just stand on the skates and glide down the sidewalk. If they were rolling too fast, they just steered into the grass. In the winter time, there was an alley behind their apartment building. All the children got their sleds and went down the incline. It could get very icy back there and sometimes they couldn't stop and would almost go into the street which was next to the YMCA where Patricia had lived and by James Madison Elementary School. As far as Terri can recall, no one ever got hit by a car even though the street was busy and the alley was hidden!
The only serious problem the children suffered, besides Terri having Rheumatic Fever, was when Ginny fell off a swing at school and broke her left arm. She had to spend the night in Memorial Hospital and even though it was across the street; Terri and Bonnie were worried about her. She did come home the next day and her cast was admired by the entire neighborhood.
Life went on, books were read, music was listened to and games were played in the apartment. One night the entire family came home after dark and when they opened the door and started up the steps to the livingroom, a bat flew over their heads. There was lots of screaming. Finally another tenant hit the bat with a broom and took it outside.
By now Patricia felt she was doing a good job as a mother and responsible for her children. They still walked everywhere. She had a big wagon that was used to transport laundry, groceries and tired children to and from the library downtown. She had a few friends, reliable people to care for her girls when she was working and even had a date or two.
After dating one man for several months; she thought it might be leading to a marriage. Jack Faust had taken her to visit her ex-sister-in-laws, her ex-mother-in-law, her Uncle Jim and Aunt Cookie. He seemed to want to take on her girls as his own. So, one Sunday, he told her he had a surprise. He picked up the entire family and drove them to Niles, Michigan where he proudly showed them a little house that he was buying. He topped off the special trip with ice cream shakes for everyone. Perhaps it was an omen...but....Bonnie being a little girl, accidentally dropped her shake all over the back seat of his car. Jack lost his temper, yelled at Bonnie and of course, she cried. Terri and Ginny were shocked into silence. They had never been screamed at before. Patricia did not say a word except to "take them home." She broke off the relationship with Jack. She was sure she would never find a man who would be willing to take on her family and she wasn't even sure if she wanted to take another chance.
