2:28 p.m. - 2007-08-08
the 50's
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
OATMEAL & KISSES
During the next few summers, Terri was allowed to visit her Aunt Virginia and Uncle Emerson and spend time with her cousins. Aunt Virginia and Uncle Emerson had some children and Terri liked to help take care of them. During this time, her father, Donald, came to Minonk to attend his high school reunion and took Terri along. She was beginning to forget about him because he was not part of her daily life so it took a few hours to feel comfortable with him and his wife, Dorothy. It was difficult to feel close to him even though she resembled him and knew he was her father.
The last time Terri visited her Aunt Virginia began a period of darkness in her life. It began the day Uncle Jim came to pick her up, without any warning, to take her home. The sexual abuse continued for what seemed like several years but was probably about three years in all. Terri didn't speak of it to anyone, including her mother and even her best friend, until she was about 17 and it remained a dark part of her life that she didn't want to discuss.
As the girls continued to enjoy school and their neighborhood friends, Patricia had a few more dates. About 1957, Patricia was able to move her little family to the basement apartment of the same big old home on Main
Street. It had 2 bedrooms. Patricia and Terri shared one bedroom with a trundle bed and the two younger girls shared the other. There was a larger kitchen-dining area. The bathroom only had a shower and was small. They also were given a portion of the basement storage area which was right outside their kitchen door. There wasn�t a lot of light because there were only a window in each bedroom. But the neighborhood was still a nice family area and the children could play outside, even in the evening. No one ever locked their doors in those days anyway.
Patricia had to be at work by 7 every morning so she found someone to help her out. Peggy was a neighborhood high school senior who was hired by Patricia to come in the morning and make sure the girls were up for school. Peggy would make breakfast for the girls and then leave. The whole neighborhood of children walked the two blocks to school together and Peggy walked to Central High School which was in the other direction, towards town. Occasionally, Peggy would also baby-sit in the evening if Patricia had a dinner date. Peggy would make dinner, spend time with the girls and once they were asleep, Peggy would go home.
***
Friday, July 31, 1950's-
Dearest Pat:
I dream of you, I cherish you..
Each second of each hour...
To me you are the petal and...
The fragrance of each flower...
You are the silver stars that are...
The sentinels of the night..
You are the dawn when fear is gone..
You are my sunshine bright..
You are the hopes that fill my heart..
You are the one and only one..
I ever want to treasure..
To you I give my loving heart...
My life forever more..
With all the joys I own today..
And all that are in store..
I only want your happiness...
Forever and forever...
I only want to be with you...
And never leave you - Never.
Again Metcalfe took the words right out of my mouth.
Love..........
******
Patricia was a lovely looking woman. She enjoyed the company of gentlemen callers. It was wonderful to discuss books, music and other things not related to being a single mother of 3 daughters. She looked forward to having dinner out especially because she didn�t have to pay and would have more money to take care of her children. One evening, Patricia arrived home about 11:00 P.M. She opened to door and smelled gas!. Of course, she was frantic and woke up her girls to get them outside into the fresh air. The two windows were opened and the apartment was aired out. Patricia was afraid to go out in the evening, leaving her girls home alone, for several weeks after that incident.
Terri wanted to learn to iron and Patricia allowed her to practice on hankerchiefs and pillowcases. Once she was good at that; Patricia let her iron the girls' blouses and dresses. In those days, clothes had to be sprinkled the night before. The sprinkler was an old orange Nehi glass bottle and a sprinkler top and all the clothes to be ironed were dampened.. They were placed in a pillow case to keep them damp. Then the next evening, Terri would iron while Patricia made supper and did the dinner dishes. The laundry was usually done on a Saturday evening and Sunday was the day to dampen the clothes, making Monday the ironing day. It was a special time that Terri enjoyed sharing with her mother.
Patricia had never learned to cook. Her mother, Josephine never took the time to teach her how to do housework or cook. When she lived with Leonette, she didn't have to cook either. But Patricia learned to make a few meals including a vegetable and tried to always have a dessert, even if it was Jello. However, she never stirred the Jello up enough so the bottom was always rubbery. To this day, Terri likes Jello that way. And, a few years ago, Jello made it very popular to make Jello rubbery as a new taste treat...
When there was a little extra money, Patricia would buy pudding to cook. Patricia always scorched the milk for vanilla pudding. To this day, Terri doesn't like vanilla pudding because she can still taste that scorched milk.
One evening, Patricia must have been very tired and Terri talked back when she was asked to do something. Patricia said, "Dammit, just do it!" and slapped Terri across the face. Both of them burst into tears and immediately apologized to each other. It was the first and last time, Terri talked back to her mother and Patricia never ever raised a hand to Terri again. To say that this little family of four females was non-aggressive and innocent in the ways of the world speaks volumes.
Patricia did not have much money to spare. She provided love and entertainment by records, music, books from the library and games. Often the whole family would dance around to music on the record player. Patricia loved Edith Piaf, a famous french singer. The girls could never understand the French songs which sounds very depressing. Terri always thought one was called "MAY I KILL PA". Another favorite record the girls liked to dance to was Slaughter on 10th Avenue which was a jazz record. They also played with a small bag of colored blocks, their old dolls and some board games, paper dolls and read comic books.
Halloween was a special holiday because there was Beggars Night on October 30th and the regular Halloween on Oct. 31. The neighborhood was usually generous to all the children. The upstairs tenants loved to have the girls show off their costumes which were homemade each year. The girls would spend weeks planning the costume, save up their allowance and use crepe paper and makeup to create their illusion. But usually Halloween would be so cold and rainy that the magnificent outfit had to be covered up by an old winter coat. Nevertheless, the candy was delicious.
Christmas came one year and money was extremely tight. Donald normally was very faithful about sending child support but he can written to let Patricia know that he was between jobs and had no money to spare. Between paying for rent, food, laundry, clothing and money to Katie who still fed the children lunch and made sure they got to and from school on time; Patricia had little money for gifts. She talked to Terri about the problem and told her the plan. Patricia took the Madame Alexander dolls that each girl had been given years before and took them to the doll "hospital" to be cleaned and rewigged. She waited until Christmas Eve and bought a left over tree for a few pennies. The girls understood that money was tight.
Patricia always saved up money for an Easter outfit for each girl to wear to church. The First Methodist Church was only a few blocks from home. The girls usually got an outfit or two at the beginning of the school year and a pair of new shoes. Often, Terri's clothes were hand-me-downs to Ginny. Bonnie was a little chubbier than the other two and so, she had to get special clothing from Lane Bryant. Patricia would wait for a sale in the hopes of finding something that would be good for Bonnie to wear. Bonnie also needed some special shoes and although they were expensive; they did last a long time.
1956
Terri was in 7th grade. She was asked to help the afternoon kindergarten teacher with the children during her study hall. She enjoyed being with the little children. One of her favorite memories was helping the children draw farm animals. One little boy was drawing a brown cow, white cow and orange cow. When Terri asked about his creation; he explained that the brown cow made chocolate milk and the white cow made white milk. When she asked about the orange cow, the little boy said that cow made orange juice!
At the end of the year, the principal gave her a little pin with the initials of JMES (James Madison Elementary School) as a thank you for helping. That small piece of inexpensive jewelry was a treasure for many years.
That same year, Terri helped with a newspaper the 7th grade created, printed and distributed. She wrote a couple of articles and also named the paper. Junior Hi-lights. She helped to put the paper together for distribution. Was she following in the footsteps of her female ancestors?
About that same time, Patricia started dating a man who also worked for the South Bend Tribune. He was the Business and Labor Editor. He was several years older than Peggy Jo and was divorced. He had a grown daughter and son. He had been living alone for several years in a local hotel. They got along quite well and had similar interests. He was introduced to the three girls and seemed to greatly enjoy the family of females. He took them to see the Tulip Festival in Holland, Michigan one spring. He took them to Chicago to see the Museum of Science and Industry. He paid for the girls to go to the movies occasionally on a Saturday morning. He also attended the same church the little family went to every Sunday morning.
Finally he proposed and Patricia accepted. Ray and Patricia were married on July 6, 1958. They moved to a 2 story duplex on Grandview Ave. across the street from Colfax Elementary School. Terri was going to be in 8th grade and would go to Central High School. It had grades 8 to 12. Ginny and Bonnie would attend Colfax School right across the alley from their new home. Terri had a bedroom of her own and the other two girls shared a room. Terri was not sure how she felt about having a man living with the family of all girls. It had been a very long time since she had a father figure in the home. She knew she wasn't going to call him Dad. He was fine with her decision to call him Ray and the other two girls followed suit.
It seems like life was going to be very good for the new family of five. Maybe the hard times were finally over.
