12:28 p.m. - 2007-07-03
Oatmeal & Kisses - the Diary
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
OATMEAL AND KISSES - THE DIARY.....
After Josephine had left home for marriage in Oklahoma in August, 1919; her mother, Alice continued to run the boarding house. Alice hired some help in exchange for room and board. She also had Lucille ( born 4-17-05) and James Leonard ( born 11-18-1910) still at home. Another son, Luther Raye Dawson was born on 2-29-1908 and died on March 7th.
Of course, both the children helped to care for the chickens, collect the eggs and do other chores around the home. Alice also began complaining more often about her headaches. There were times when she stayed in bed nearly all day.
When Josephine would go home to visit; she would help her mother as much as possible. It was obvious during that time that Alice was becoming seriously ill. In 1922 or 1923, Alice was nearly bedridden because the pain in her head was becoming almost constant. The doctors put her into the mental hospital for a period of time believing that she was losing her mind.
Anna Mae Alice Smith Crim Dawson died on February 21, 1923 at the age of 51. The cause of death was a brain tumor. Her father was Charles Smith of Canada and her mother was Mary Nation from Indiana. She was buried at Mound Cemetery in Charleston, Il. She had given birth to 9 children but wasn't able to see the first 6 after her divorce.
Josephine was 22 years old, Lucille was 17 years old and James Leonard was 13.
Josephine had her own little son, James, who was barely 3 years old. She went back to Charleston to help settle the affairs of her mother. This was a traumatic time period for Alice's children, especially James Leonard. He was fostered out to a farm family named Craig.
James Leonard was 13 years old. James Leonard learned plenty on the farm and in fact, he became a farmer in his adult years. He always loved animals and was very skillful in using farm equipment and planting crops. However, he used to beg his sisters to let him come live with them. He seemed to change but his sisters thought it was because he was growing up and learning to be a man. They knew it was a hard life on the farm but they were content knowing he had food and a place to live because they couldn't afford to take care of him.
In 1925, Josephine went to Chicago, Il. She found a room in a boarding house on Wilson Ave for herself and the twins. Apparently she left Jimmie, her 5 year old with Arthur in Oklahoma. The twins were 1 year old.. Her sister was living near by. Bill was living with Josephine when he was in town. He was still traveling around trying to find work. Arthur was sending Josephine money from time to time but life was tough. Josephine kept a diary during that time period.
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Jan 1, 1925: First day of the new year-didn�t awake till late. Just messed around-Bill took Patty Jean out for an airing down to Lucille�s. I journeyed downtown myself about 5 P.M. Sent telegram to Arthur in Oklahoma. Ate chili-was good and then home at nine. Jean and Lucille and I went over on Sedgwick Ave. to see about that job-go back in the morning-one of "gotta do something".- things are looking mighty serious but...it�s always bleakest before dawn so why worry-worry don�t get you anything but wrinkles!"
Jan 2: Oh Lord! What a day! Lucille came down and we went to see about that job. Came back and Patty Jean had a spasm or something-was over at the doctor�s office. I was so frightened-she looked as if she was dead. Doctor was mean, wouldn�t give us the prescription cause we didn�t have the two dollars! Received Arthur�s telegram-decided to go to Charleston. Came back to room and those crazy Scotch boys came. We had to go to the show with them and the blonde and Belle. Gee-my head hurts so-came back and Lucille and I had a round. She is done with me because I love Bill. I DO love him. She leaves for Charleston in the morning. I have both the kiddies- what next?
Jan 3: Nothing much happened today. Up about ten-had breakfast-Jean came up and took Jack down to her room. Lucille never went to Charleston-decided to wait till next Sunday. Thinks she�ll work-I doubt it. James Leonard was out to visit and Jackie Jo came back from Jean's. I went to the store-ate chili. I sure love that stuff. Then those Scotch "pests" came up. And the big blonde one-she was telling me about her kids-hasn�t seen them in seven years! Bill says she�s a "dope head". I don�t know. Rained all day-kids tore all my pictures down-climbed up and got them off the fireplace-just think of it!
Jan 4: Nothing new! Lucille came up. Landed a job at Bedelds and goes to work in the morning. Took Jackie Jo home with her this afternoon. James Leonard brought him back tonight. Nothing new-just another day. No word from Arthur.
Jan 5: Same old stuff-just another day-no word yet from Arthur. Lucille and Jess came down tonight. Lucille and I took a walk to North Ave. Bill looked for a job this morning. Nothing doing.
Jan 6: Pat was sick last night. Poor Bill cleaned all night it seemed. I don�t know what�s wrong with Patty Jean. We (Bill & I) got some castor oil down her, perhaps that will straighten her out. Gee! I�m so lonesome and blue. My Bill is gone-left this morning for Springfield, Il. It hurt to see him go but something had to be done. Went down to Lucille�s and got supper for her. She likes her work so well, got a raise! 18 cents per hour now! Jess & her helped me home with the kiddies-no word from Arthur. Lucille said she ought to hear from him and get an answer to her letter. I wonder what she has told him. I�ll write him myself tonight. -OH! I wish my Bill was here - it�s so terrible lonesome without him. I�love him so.
Jan 7: Just another day-nothing new. No word from Arthur yet �Every thing seems all wrong. I miss my Bill so I wonder where he is tonight. Is he thinking of me? (I love you, Bill- I love you!) P.S. Lucille spoke her mind when she learned my watch was pawned!
Jan 8: I miss my Bill so! No word from anyone. Bill or Arthur either. Surely I�ll hear tomorrow. Patty Jean has been so cross today and she looks so bad; I am worried so about her. I found out what is wrong with her tonight. That old Doc told Buelah-internal hemorrhage. I can�t think what caused it. He was so mean-wouldn�t tell us what to do for the poor little thing. I do hope I hear from Bill tomorrow and Arthur too. Everything seems so "balled up" maybe I just think so because I�ve got the blues. Think I�ll read some of Bill�s old letters.
Jan 9: Well, no word from my Bill yet. I�m so worried-he promised he�d write the next day. He has just been gone two days but Lordy! It seems like years-does he miss me like that? I wonder: can a man care like a woman? I doubt it very much. For me, there is no one like "my boy" now or anytime. Received a letter from Arthur-it sounded like he didn�t receive my night letter-poor fellow. I hate to keep asking him for money but what else can I do. It�s for the kiddies. Lucille purchased herself some new pumps and a dress. I�ve got to make an arrangement with the landlord in the morning. No money, Lord, I wish it was over.
Jan 10: Been down to Lucille�s all day-waited around up in the room for that darn old landlord. Came back here about six and tried to call him again but he was out. Jess helped me down with my suitcases. We just saved clothes, hope I get some mail tomorrow. (I think she was moving her possessions in case the landlord threw her out for no rent payment)
Jan 11: Today is the twins birthday. They�re two years old, bless their hearts - how time flies! Rec�d two letters from my boy, he is at Bloomington. I just wonder when we�ll ever be together again-I can�t ask him to take the responsibility of my kiddies. He is just a boy himself - but - I can�t give him up either. What can we do? I want him so and my babies too. Got a letter from Arthur-he is so good. Lucille heard from Flora-she is married to Raymond-an old sweetie of mine. She just took him for a meal ticket-he is a good kid.
Oh Lordy, we all been talking about babies being born-Lucille and Jean and I know all there is to know about that! Yes-sir!
Jan 12: Nothing new happened today-the twins went calling up to Mrs. Jones on the third floor, then fell back down the back stairs! Lucille and I went over to Buelah�s a while tonight. She and Lucille sympathize with one another-both in the same boat! Wish My Bill was here.
Jan 13: Lucille and I went down to Bedells this morning. Lunched at Woolworths. I went down to see about my trunk this evening. Gee, the man was so nice, said he thought my husband had run away and left me! Read about "Luipe" in the American tonight - showed his picture - he is a good kid. Hope he does make the big league-think I�ll write him a line. That wouldn�t be disloyal to My Bill for it�s just Bill I love always. Got the sweetest letter from him yesterday, he was going to Springfield. If nothing was there, on to St. Louis. Hope my man writes me tomorrow.
Jan 14: Didn�t get up till late today-just fooled around. Got a letter from Arthur- sent me three dollars. I got my laundry out and then ironed this evening. Buelah came over tonight. Lucille told her about that candy and Lord! Harry was listening. They sure are having Hell now! No letter from Bill-wonder where he is?
Jan 15: Well, we all had a wild night last night. Lucille and Jess took turns "feeding the fish". And then Buelah was sick on the second floor-guess she�ll do it by tomorrow morning. No letter.
Jan 16: Got a letter from Arthur but no telegram-don�t know whether we�ll make it to Charleston tomorrow or not. Hope so. As this way is getting on my nerves-don�t know whether Buelah did any good or not - We all have been having a discussion. Jess & Lucille and I - I think I�ve proved to everybody�s satisfaction that I love Bill honest and truly. Just wish he was here. No letter (why don�t he write?)
Jan 17: Just a blue old Sunday, never heard from Arthur. Jess sent telegram at noon. We just got to go to Charleston but how? We ate Eskimo pies and popcorn just a while ago and before that-chili. That is all we done - eat and sleep. What will tomorrow bring forth, These are thrilling days...
EDIT:
To give the readers an explanation of what all the above diary entries mean in my opinion....
Josephine had left Arthur and her first born son in Okmulgee, Ok. She went back to Il. with Bill to figure out what she wanted. She had the twins and was spending time with her sister, Lucille in a rooming house. Money was extremely tight. She was asking Arthur to send money for the twins� needs. Arthur wanted her to come back to him and was sending money when he could. Bill was out of town looking for work. Lucille had a boyfriend, Jess, and was trying to help Josephine care for the twins.
Josephine was truly still wanting her romantic dream and hoping for the best. James Leonard, her half-brother, did come to visit occasionally. I believe, (based on future occurrences) that James Leonard was being physically and possibly sexually abused by Arthur Craig - the farm owner. I believe James Leonard wanted to tell his sisters but was too embarrassed. I believe that James Leonard sexually abused Patty Jean when she was under two years of age which caused the internal hemorrhage that the Doctor mentioned when Patty Jean was sick. I think Josephine may have known but didn�t know how to handle the situation.
I also believe that Lucille and Buhlah were pregnant and ate something to cause a miscarriage (entries Jan. 15 and 16).
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Here's to the one that I love
Here's to the ones that love me
Here's to the ones who love those that I love
And here's to the ones who love those that love me.
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Whenever it's raining and it's blue
I always cheer up when I think about you.
And I really can't tell you how happy I'd be
If I thought that you thought the same thing about me.
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He was tall and she was fair
With light blue eyes and curly hair.
He placed his hands upon her breast
She pushed the buttons - he did the rest.
He tried her on the sofa.
He tried her on the chair.
He tried her on the window seat
But he could not do it there.
He tried her sitting on his lap
He tried her on the floor
He tried her standing by the wall
He tried it o'er and o'er.
He tried her this way
He tried her that
And it almost makes me laugh
To think of the many different ways
He tried to take her........photograph.
(Ooh! Grandma Josephine----you were so "racy" in 1925!)
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For Flappers Only..
Don't powder your nose in the public eye
Don't polish your nails in the public ways
And don't display such a length of limb
Don't dress on the street as if going to swim
Don't talk so much about "him" and "his"
Don't say so often "I'll say it is"
And don't say "dearie" and don't chew gum
And then I'll say the millenium has come.
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The saddest words of tongue or pen are these perhaps...."it might have been".
The gladdest words we know by heck, are these.."Enclosed find a check!"
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May you live as long as you want to
May you want to as long as you live
If I'm asleep when you want to wake me
If I'm awake and don't want to - make me - kiss you
Poems by Josephine Hill.
