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7:06 p.m. - 2006-04-28
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Friday, April 28, 2006

Currently Reading
The Da Vinci Code
By Dan Brown
see related

IT'S ALL OVER....We are home from our vacation. We are cleaning, doing laundry, getting groceries, cleaning up the yard, reading all the mail, paying the bills, reading all the old newspapers and moving clothing from Winter to the basement and bringing up the warmer weather stuff.

Next Monday, we are back to the job. It will be good to return to a regular routine but within the week, we will be back into the same rut of working, eating, watching tv and sleeping. Not that it is a BAD thing but it does wear you out.

Speaking of being worn out. On our last night of vacation, we were so tired of just sitting in the truck. When we stopped for the night in St Louis, Mo. , there were no smoking rooms so the management offered us a first floor room right off the lobby for a special price AND it was a handicap room so there was a bit more room in the bathroom.

We each got to try out the walk-in shower which we thought was very nice. . Other than the shower, the entire room was very normal in furnishings.

We were finally able to fall asleep when something woke us both up with a start about 4:55 A.M. We couldn't figure out what was going on at first. It was the fire alarm and it had a strobe light that flashed on and off along with the alarm. It was so disorienting. We were trying to find some clothes, shoes, glasses. and my husband was half asleep saying he didn't know how to turn it off. I checked the door, opened it and saw that people were coming down the hall. I could smell an odor like burned microwave popcorn so I didn't think it was too bad. Finally we got out and found out the housekeeper had burned the gravy she was preparing for the early free breakfast and didn't know how to turn the alarm off.

The Police and Fire Depts. came out to check and left shortly after. The motel personnel apologized when we checked out the next day...but we thought it was a good lesson on making sure we have our clothes and valuables ready to be picked up in a hurry and get up and out right away.

The last day of our vacation; we went to Grant's Farm in St. Louis, Mo. It has several types of animals which you can get close to but the best part are the Clydesdale horses. You can see several of them with their colts (foals) and they are so beautiful.

They also have a stable filled with different types of horses. And we were astonished to find that it only cost $8 for a car and all 3 gift shops were extremely reasonable in price and the quality of the items were very nice. We would recommend that anyone who has children, grand children or would just like to spend a few hours outside enjoying the flowers and the animals take a trip to Grant's Farm.

Here's a good thought.... Apples & Wine. .

Women are like apples on trees..... The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something s wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men ...... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Share this with all the good apples you know.

#### Yes, the new one is out!
Brand new edition of... "You know you're a redneck when......
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

#### This little survey is fun.... I WAS CHARLIE BROWN

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character you best resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test: Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of this e-mail before you are one. Then forward this to your friends (including the person who sent it to you) and change the subject of this message to what character you turn out to resemble.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?

a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts..)

b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)

c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)

d) Rock concert (1 pt.)

e) Going to the movies (3 pts..)

2. What is your favorite type of music?

a) Rock and Roll (2 pt s.)

b) Alternative (1 pt.)

c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)

d) Country (5 pts.)

e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?

a) Comedy (2 pts.)

b) Horror (1 pt.)

c) Musical (3 pts.)

d) Romance (4 pts.)

e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?

a) Waiter (4 pts.)

b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)

c) Teacher (3 pts.)

d) Police (2 pts.)

e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?

a) Exercise (5 pts.)

b) Read (4 pts.)

c) Watch television (2 pts.)

d) Listen to music (1 pt.)

e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?

a) Yellow (1 pt.)

b) White (5 pts.)

c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)

d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)

e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat right now?

a) Snow (3 pts.)

b) Pizza (2 pts.)

c) Sushi (1 pt.)

d) Pasta (4 pts.)

e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?

a) Halloween (1 pt.)

b) Christmas (3 pts.)

c) New Years (2 pts.)

d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)

e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?

a) Paris (4 pts)

b) Spain (5 pts.)

c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)

d) Hawaii (4 pts.)

e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?

a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)

b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)

c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)

d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)

e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the character you most resemble. Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you. It's very interesting to see "who" your friends are!

10-16 points: You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy going and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

17-23 points: You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you ever are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

24-28 points: You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side o f things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life.

29-35 points: You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they always understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.

36-43 points: You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

44-50 points: You are Poindexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes.

#### and last, but not the least ... THE VIEWPOINT OF A MAN

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do next.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men. Good luck !!!!

Have a great weekend. I have to fold clothes, and think of something to fix for dinner.

analysis - new appointment

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