3:50 p.m. - 2008-04-06
UNBREAK MY H EART
Currently Listening
Unbreak My Heart
By Toni Braxton
We need some of your good healing thoughts...
The family member I just wrote about in the previous blog had another "melt-down" on Friday. Her mother had a day off from work, drove her to high school and there was nothing wrong. The family member was excited because she was planning on a trip to Colorado in the coming week with her choir. She was upbeat and happy.
Later that morning, the family member decided she wasn't loved by anyone and just wanted to die. Since she sent this message out in a massive texting e-mail, nearly all her friends, teachers and others read it. She was brought into the assistant principal's office. It was believed that she was not suicidal but they did allow her to leave school in the company of her grandmother. She was taken home and her mother had a long talk with her. It was her weekend to spend at her father's home and she went there. The next day she was to be taken to her doctor for discussion about her medications and her anxiety.
Her father took her to the doctor who had prescribed the anxiety medications and has been treating her for some time. The doctor decided the situation was getting out of hand and felt that she needed a psych evaluation. She was taken to an in-patient hospital, had several medical histories taken and lots of talking. Her father was told that she would be admitted for up to 10 days. All her personal effects, including jewelry, shoelaces and any other potentially harmful items were taken from her. She has her private journal only. Her parents can only visit for 1 hour per day. While we are all so sorry that she has been admitted...at the same time, we are relieved to know that all her medications have been stopped, she will be evaulated and hopefully some treatment program will begin. Clearly there is something wrong and it didn't begin with the December assault.
What is the most hurtful is that she told the doctors that she has been reading her mother's private e-mails between her mother, myself and another family member. These were not for her to read, these were private between 3 grown women who are related.. It was a place where her mother could confide in us and we could support her via e-mails. Of course, we did discuss this family member and her issues. We discussed her mother's issues with her father due to the divorce with all its related aspects. We also recently discussed the break-up between her mother and her mother's boyfriend of 3 years. Her mother was able to talk about her work, her worries and her health. Yes, her mother had some serious health problems just about 1-1/2 years ago and has been trying to stay healthy since then. Every time she seems to make some progress; this family member had some drama and all focus goes back to the family member.
But these e-mails were private and not for her to read and it was wrong for her to do it. Her mother is completely shaken that her own daughter would betray her in that way. Her mother has always provided an open door for conversation and has always provided privacy to both of her children. Now this same courtesy has been taken from her by her very own daughter.
It is so sad. I am feeling so helpless. I have suggested that her mother go through the daughter's room to find out if she has anything in there to hide. Drugs, suicide notes, or anything else that could be harmful. I have suggested that her mother put a lock on her own bedroom door, change her e-mail and passwords immediately and to assume the worse.
It is going to take a very long time for her mother to trust her daughter again. I think life is going to change for her daughter in a huge way. I have suggested that she lose her driving privileges, her cell phone, computer, and anything else that she values. She needs to earn back the trust that her mother has so willingly given to her. She had no right to do what she did and invade her mother's private space.
I can't believe this happened.
