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12:16 p.m. - 2007-08-09
Into the 1960's
Thursday, August 09, 2007

OATMEAL & KISSES - 1958

Raymond and Patricia Jean continued their jobs with the newspaper. They both worked on Saturday and had Sunday and Monday off. This was a good arrangement because Terri could be responsible for the other two girls on Saturday. Patricia usually left a small list of chores for the girls to do. This kept them busy for a short while, they helped around the house and still had time to read and enjoy their Saturday.

One rainy overcast Saturday morning, Terri came out of her bedroom and saw Bonnie packing her little doll suitcase. At first Terri thought Bonnie was playing with her dolls. Then she noticed that Bonnie had put in a pair of shorts, an undershirt, some comic books and a peanut butter & jelly sandwich wrapped awkwardly in waxed paper. Terri asked Bonnie what she was doing as she noticed Bonnie had some pennies and a nickel in her hand.

"I'm going to run away." Bonnie said very importantly and proudly. "I don't want to live here anymore." Bonnie was about 9 years old.

Terri was surprised and asked "But why?"

Bonnie said "I just don't want to be here anymore. I will go somewhere else to live."

"Bonnie, where will you go? It's rainy and cold outside." Terri asked.

By this time, Ginny had come back into the bedroom she shared with Bonnie. Ginny also asked "Why do you want to run away? Are you mad at someone?"

"No, but I don't like it here." Bonnie said again.

Terri told Bonnie "You know, Mom will be so worried and sad. She will probably cry a lot because you are not here." Can't you stay and talk about it to us?"

"Nooooo, I want to leave right now!" Bonnie insisted.

Terri was really worried that Bonnie would walk out the door and what in the world would Terri tell their mother if Bonnie was gone. Finally, Terri said to Bonnie. "Please don't leave yet. Let's have lunch and play for awhile. Then when Mom comes home, you can tell her why you want to leave."

Bonnie thought for a moment and agreed. Thankfully that problem was over, at least for that year. It became a typical response in Bonnie. She sometimes reacted to difficulties by running away from her problems in later life.

One afternoon, Terri, Ginny and Bonnie were walking downtown to the library. As they passed an A&P grocery store, they read the sign in the window.

All of a sudden, Terri said "Oh my goodness, Mom won a turkey!"

They ran all the way home and told Patricia the great news. Patricia picked up the free turkey which they had for Thanksgiving. This turned out to be a real blessing because money was sometimes tight for the family. In spite of having two paychecks, after paying rent, food, utilities and buying other necessities; there was not often much left over.

The girls walked to the library nearly every Saturday. The library was in an old building which resembled a small castle in their eyes. The Children's Dept was upstairs and there were little cubbyholes where you could sit with your books and just read. It was a proud day when you could write your name and get your very old library card!!! Terri loved the whole procedure of checking out the books with the special pencil. It had the date stamper on the back of the pencil and the librarian could quickly stamp the book card, remove it from the back of the book and put the due-date card in the book. Terri considered the thought of becoming a librarian when she grew up.

Another Saturday, there was a knock at the door. It was a delivery man from Sears and Roebuck. He had a big package that he left on the porch because the girls told him they were not allowed to let anyone in when their parents were gone. It was a small desk and chair for Terri's 13th birthday. She used the desk and chair until the day she got married. She left it for her sisters to use once she had moved out.

The girls were growing up and Ray and Patricia wanted a home of their own. They found a three bedroom home in a nice neighborhood. They purchased the house and moved in during the summer of 1959.

Terri had her own room. She had the trundle bed that she and Patricia had shared so long ago. A trundle is a bunk bed with the lower bed sliding under the top bed. She had her little desk and chair, a bookcase and a small closet. It was cozy but small. Ginny and Bonnie shared a bedroom with their original regular bunk beds. they had a dresser by now and a large open closet for their clothes and precious possessions.

The kitchen had an eat in area which was small for 5 people and the washer and dryer were in the kitchen also. There was a fair sized yard in front and the back. The neighbors were very welcoming to the family.

That Fall, Terri started her sophomore year at John Adams High School. She had to take a bus to and from school. She occasionally walked home but it was a long walk after being in school all day. The other girls went to Thomas Edison Elementary school, which was a few blocks away. Again, the neighborhood had plenty of children to walk together to and from school.

During that time period, Ray and Patricia took out a small loan and expanded the house. They took out the kitchen window and made it into a large doorway. Then they had a large room build onto the back of the house which was used as a family room and dining area. It had a linoleum floor, built in bookcases on one side, two rows of windows for lots of sunlight and was the main place where the family gathered every day.

Although Raymond was not very thrifty with money, he did enjoy traveling. In the early years of their relationship, there were times he and Patricia took a vacation on their own. The girls were taken to Uncle Jim and Aunt Cookie's to stay. The girls didn't like going there so often but they realized that sometimes it was just too expensive for the whole family to go on vacation at the same time. Terri had her own reasons for not wanting to go to the farm but she vowed she would go if only to watch over her younger sisters. After all, she had constantly been told that because she was the oldest; it was her responsibility to be sure her sisters were safe and she was supposed to keep them out of trouble.

The joy of having lots of dogs and cats to play with on the farm was still a special experience. They each "adopted" a outside kitten of their own and named them Tommy, Fluffo and Susie. Those poor little kittens were subjected to being dressed in doll clothes but they would play with the girls for hours without running away.

The girls learned to pick wild raspberries and had them on breakfast cereal and on ice cream at night. They also helped pick strawberries from the few little plants Aunt Cookie put out. They learned to pull weeds in the garden. They helped hang the laundry on the lines outside and still had plenty of time to play in the attic which had no furniture. They kept their dolls and comic books, paper dolls and old catalogs to cut up and create homes for their doll families in the attic too.

After the house was purchased and while the girls were still in school,they did save enough money to take the family to the East Coast, Virginia Beach, Va. and as far West as California. They went to Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Canyon, San Francisco and other well known vacations spots including Canada.

The plan was always that the family would camp. The tent, sleeping bags and food and other necessities were always packed into the car. But usually after a night or two in the tent, Raymond's back would bother him and they would stay in a motel. In those days, finding a motel with a pool was the biggest attraction. The girls loved to swim in the pool to cool off. There was no air conditioning in the car so the hot weather really wore everyone out.

They did eat picnic lunches and breakfast with the food they brought along. They once stayed in a cabin and cooked outside every day. They saw some bears in the campsite at Yellowstone National Park getting into garbage. They rode the cable cars in San Francisco to the end of the line and jumped off as the cable car turned and rode it back up to the other end. They drove down the winding streets in San Francisco. They went to China Town and ate in a Chinese restaurant. They also ate wonderful seafood on both the West and East Coasts.

Terri had a good high school experience. She had started out at Central High School which was near the downtown of her home town. She especially loved the magnolia blossoms that appeared every Spring. It was so beautiful to see the white and pink flowers appear and when they fell off the trees; there was a gorgeous carpet of blossoms for a few more days. She did well in school, not Honor Society good but in the upper one third of the class. Starting with her sophomore year, she attended John Adams High School because the family now lived in that district.

On her first day at John Adams High School, she went into her home room and met her future husband...of course, she didn't know it at that time! She was greeted by a girl named Lynda who showed her around and introduced Terri to Lynda's friend since elementary school. His name was Dean. He had dark brown eyes and dark curly hair. He was very nice and friendly.

It wasn't too long before Terri had a crush on him but of course, he had no idea. She used to write his name in code on her English book (which was a fad at that time). She and Lynda became friends and were Spanish class partners and Office Practice partners and English classmates. Lynda was always trying to get Dean to talk to Terri because she was sure they would make a perfect couple!

Terri did wonder if she would be 16 and never kissed when she went into her Junior year. She was asked out on a couple of dates by Bob. He took her to the movies a couple of times and introduced her to his sister. And he gave her a kiss before she was 16. In fact, he kissed her several times. Unfortunately, Bob was dating other girls and Terri's heart was broken.

That spring, Patricia became quite ill. She had strep throat and was sick in bed for several days. She just couldn't seem to get over the tired feelings and she felt nauseous too. When it continued; she went to the doctor. What he told her was a real shock!

That night Raymond and Patricia told the girls that there was going to be a baby in December. Terri was a senior in high school. All the girls were excited about having a baby in the family. It had been a very long time since the last one. They teased Bonnie about not being the baby sister any more. There was a constant discussion on the perfect name for either a boy or a girl.

Terri was asked on a couple of dates by a young man who was in the Navy. He was on leave visiting his cousin. His cousin, Dwayne, was dating a friend of Terri's. They went to a party and a movie together. John was home only for a short time. He was much too old and experienced for Terri. So she wasn't too upset when his leave was over. She really didn't want to pressured into any type of relationship that she wasn't comfortable with.

In her Senior year, she had a crush on another boy but he never asked her out although they flirted every day in History class. Another friend tried to get him to ask Terri out but he never did. Terri had not had a date for several months and was surprised to learn from some of her friends that many of the boys thought she was still dating Bob. That had been over for a year and in fact, Bob had a steady girlfriend by that time.

Ray and Patricia were preparing for the new baby's birth. They decided to move the girls around. Terri and Ginny would share a bedroom and a new set of beds which looked like couches and a table were purchased for them. It made the room look more grownup. Bonnie would move into the little middle bedroom with the trundle beds because a small collapsible crib would fit in there too.

Finally the big day came and another daughter joined the family on December 5, 1961. Her name was Mary Rachel! Raymond had come home from the hospital with a few polaroid pictures. He told the girls they could stay home from school but all three of them wanted to go to tell their friends about the new baby. Everyone in the entire family was so excited to have a new little girl!

Patricia went back to work part-time at the newspaper. Once again, the girls took responsibility for each other and also took care of Mary on Saturdays. One day Terri had just changed her diaper and she was on the top part of the trundle bed. Mary suddenly turned over and fell to the floor - about 3 feet. The girls were scared. They checked her over and didn't see any bruises but they were worried. They checked with the neighbor who had 6 children. She told them to keep her awake the rest of the day but if she started to fall asleep to call Patricia at work. Mary was fine and Terri told her mother when Patricia got home that afternoon.

Needless to say, Ray was very proud to have a baby girl. He was several years older than Patricia and had been 52 when the baby was conceived. Patricia was 37 years old and never expected to have a new baby at that age either. Ray carried Mary all over when they were in public. Sometimes people asked if he was the grandfather, which upset him. The girls thought it was funny that they took care of her along with Patricia but as soon as they were at a restaurant or at church or anywhere else in public; Raymond was holding her. He had named her Mary after a special person in his childhood and Rachel was often shortened to Rae which he loved.

In March of 1962, Terri was in the last semester of her Senior year in high school. She was in Sociology Class with Dean. Every Friday a student would be called upon to discuss Current Events. Her teacher had asked her privately if she would be willing to talk about something a bit unusual that most students don't experience. She was willing and was called upon that Friday.

It did seem weird to stand up in front of everyone in the class and talk about this. It is something that most people don't go through especially at this age. But Terri thought it would be interesting to the rest of her classmates. And even better; it might get her a good grade in class that day!

So, she told everyone how her step-father, Ray, had asked the St Joseph Probate Court to change the last name of Terri, Ginny and Bonnie to his last name so all 4 girls, including the new baby, Mary Rachel, would have the same last name. Terri described what the court room was like. She explained that the judge asked her if she was willing to change her name since she was older than 16 years and had rights. On March 8, 1962, her name changed legally and would be Terri Jeanne Gregg until she married.

She was willing to change her name but inside she did feel some guilt. She loved her father and felt that giving up his name was like giving him up. She did understand the reason for the name change. She had to admit that the new last name was much easier to spell and pronounce but still..... Terri knew her mother had asked her birth father for permission and she also knew it meant Donald didn't have to pay child support any more. But she still felt hurt, just a little, that her birth father was willing to give up his legal rights to his daughters. She wondered if she would ever have a relationship with him in her later life.

A couple of weeks later, Dean, who was in the same Sociology class, went out the door after class at the same time as Terri. He stopped her and asked if she would go to the Senior Prom with him!

Terri's response was "Are you kidding? Yes!".

Dean walked her to her next class and told her he would discuss the details with her later. Terri floated through the rest of the day at school and could hardly wait to tell her mother when she got home. At school, there was lots of discussion on plans for the prom and who and how and what and where they would go for that special time. Dean and Terri went bowling on a afternoon date and to a movie on their first evening date. By the time the Senior Prom came up in May, they were enjoying each other's company very much.

Terri found a very feminine pale yellow chiffon dress with little chiffon ruffled sleeves and a knee length skirt. She got shoes dyed to match and felt very pretty when she carefully dressed for the Prom. Dean brought her a beautiful yellow orchid with red accents on it. Dean wore a tux with a white jacket and a red plaid cummerbund and hankerchief.

They went to the prom with another couple and had a great time. The after-party was at the First Methodist Church and then the next day most of the couples went to Tower Hill which is a beach in Michigan. The whole weekend flew by in seconds.

It wasn't long after that that Dean and Terri started going steady. Terri wore Dean's class ring and wound long lengths of yellow angora yarn around it to keep it on her finger. Dean wore Terri's ring on a chain around his neck. They were happy to be a couple. Ray and Patricia liked Dean very much and were happy too. Even little Mary got into the relationship.

That June Terri graduated from high school and decided she would attend a business school in the area. She attended business school every weekday from 8:00 A.M. and got home about 3:00 P.M. She would do her homework. Then she would usually take care of Mary so Patricia could start dinner or have a break. Terri became very close to Mary and liked to play with her. In fact all the girls took care of Mary and enjoyed teaching her. Mary Rae was very quick to learn and loved all the attention of her big sisters. She always could find someone who was willing to read her a story or play with her.

Patricia got the Hooked on Phonics program and started teaching Mary the alphabet and words. She was soon able to read the newspaper or signs. It was so fascinating for the girls to ask Mary to read when she was extremely young. She could sound out almost every word and soon was eager to learn as her sisters were to help her.


About that time, there was a gasoline commercial with an animated dinosaur named Dino. Mary soon decided that Dean was her "Dino darling". She would squeeze her little body in-between Dean and Terri when they were sitting on the couch. If Terri was still too close, Mary would tell Dino Darling she wanted to sit on his lap and then smile smugly at Terri. She loved to have Dean carry her around too whenever possible. She was loved by all her family including "her Dino Darling".

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