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1:19 p.m. - 2007-04-27
Let's get physical
Friday, April 27, 2007

So.......Exercise.....Yeah......It's good for you.....Yes it is......and we all should do it.....

Yes....we should. So......Yeah...... Yeah.

Ok, (SOUNDS OF GRUNTS AND GROANS!)

So......how are we all doing? Do you feel the PAIN YET?

Ok.....that's enough....I'm tired now....Yes...exercise....it's good, it's very good....can we stop now?....I am tired.....and hungry....Yeah, exercise makes you hungry.....and thirsty too......Yeah!!.

Ok, I will admit it. I started to do some exercises this week. Monday, I went to the Mall and walked the entire perimeter....my pedometer said it was just over 1 mile. I also had some other errands so I am sure I walked at least another 1/2 miles that day.

Tuesday, I went to the exercise place I belong to. I rode the reclining bike for 5 minutes, did some arm and stomach exercises for about 15 minutes and walked the treadmill for 20 minutes.

Wednesday, it rained and I had to go to a funeral out of town.

Thursday I went back to the exercise place. I walked the treadmill for 25 minutes including a 5 minute cool-down, rode the bike for another 5 minutes and did the arm and stomach exercises.

Today my legs were too sore so I didn't go to the exercise place but I cleaned my house and did laundry. Tomorrow I intend to go back to the exercise place and try for more time on the treadmill and more time on the bike. I will also include the arm and stomach exercises.

So......I did it.....OK......are you satisfied now?

Now for some laughs....smiles....and giggles....

****
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she mediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Jim, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry."

"How soon can I go home?"

*****

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. (I'll bet you're going to check this out.)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say ...... a-e-i-o-u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. So does my husband (Some days that's about what my memory span is)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

...................Now you know everything!

****

She's Gone . . . .

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit drinking.....

Then I caught her spending $65 on make-up, and I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.....

+++++++++++++++++++

I don't think she's coming back...

*****

THE CRUISE
DEAR DIARY . DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship.

I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.
______________________________________________________
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins.

What a wonderful vacation this has started to be.

I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.
______________________________________________________
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today.

I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck.

The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.

I felt honored and we had a wonderful time.

He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.
______________________________________________________
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino ... did OK . Won about $80.

The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room.

We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.

He asked me to stay the night but I declined.

I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.
______________________________________________________
DEAR DIARY .. DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned.

I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside.

The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks.

He really is a charming gentleman.

He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined.

He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship.

I was appalled.
______________________________________________________
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today.


******

DID I MENTION WE ARE GOING ON A CRUISE IN TWO MORE WEEKS?


****
Exercise class

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

*****
Damn Smart Woman's Day

Our motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

To the Good Life!!

****

Census taker: How many children do you have?
Woman: Four.
Census taker: May I have their names, please?
Woman: Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.
Census taker: Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?
Woman: Because we didn't want any Mo.

****

Ok....that's enough exercise for today!!!

OK, TIME TO TAKE A NAP.....

analysis - new appointment

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