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5:51 p.m. - 2007-02-17
Chocolate sings
Saturday, February 17, 2007

I didn't think you would want to keep reading all the toilet related subjects so I decided I needed to do a new entry right away...

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up
and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out "business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "business." I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?" "Lecture," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?" "Well,"she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most
well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who
is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen
are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the
Southern Redneck....." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and
blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you.
I don't even know your name."

"Tonto", the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."

You can probably figure out that I really don't have much to say today.

so......Here comes the jokes

######

Subject: you can't send a woman to a hardware store.

Earl was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he
sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300!"
"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed. Then she
proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store. :))

Try out this link....it's very good....
This is quite amazing. Try it and see what you think.

Turn up the volume.

She will say anything you type. I sure don't know how they do this! When you move the mouse around within the the picture, her eyes follow the pointer. When you write something in the left space and then click on "Say it," she says it!

You can also change persons doing the talking and the language they speak.

Technology! Wow !!

http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/frameset.php?frame1=talk)

AND FOR THE NEXT LINK....If this doesn't make you tear up, smile and get chills, you are not an American..


And finally.....this is why I don't have anything important to say today.

The following says it all.

MAKE MINE A DOUBLE...

CHOCOLATE
One day I had a date for lunch with friends. Mae, a little old "blue hair" about 80 years old, came along with them---All in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads , sandwiches, and soups, except for Mae who said, "Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate."

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. " Along with heated apple pie," Mae added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine..

I couldn't take my eyes off Mae as her pie a-la-mode went down. The other ladies showed dismay. They ate their lunches silently and frowned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Mae. I lunched on white meat tuna. She ordered a parfait. I smiled. She asked if she amused me? I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me. How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?

She laughed and said, with wanton mirth, "I'm tasting all that's Possible. I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should.

But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (She grinned) I haven't been this old before."

"So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had ignored. I haven't smelled all the flowers yet.

There are too many books I haven't read. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead.

There are many malls I haven't shopped. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of Broadway hits and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace.

I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most.

I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind in my hair. I want to fall in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired."

With that, I called the waitress over. "I've changed my mind," I said. "I want what she is having, only add some more whipped cream!"

This is my gift to you - We need an annual Friends Day! Live well, love much & laugh often - Be happy.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO.

Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we love and respect.

Remember that while money talks, CHOCOLATE SINGS

HAVE SOMETHING FATTENING AND SWEET ON ME THIS WEEKEND.

analysis - new appointment

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