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5:15 p.m. - 2006-12-17
Memorial
Sunday, December 17, 2006

The memorial visitation was yesterday, December 16th at one of our local funeral homes. My SIL's ashes were brought from Colorado by her husband and she was buried in a small country cemetary next to her deceased brother, and a wonderful aunt and uncle.

A homily was performed by her dear friend who is a nun for a special order in Denver. This order assists the poor and travels to foreign countries to help out the sick and dying. This nun had known my sister in law for years and is very out-spoken in her beliefs. She is a delightful person, very honest and truthful. She makes religion very interesting and even she, doesn't believe everything is as it has been written over the years.

She spoke about my SIL on a personal level and made us all realize that she is in a much better place and would not want us to mourn.

But, even with that homily, this had to be the most difficult funeral and burial I have ever attended, including those for my own parents.

I had flashes in my thoughts of my SIL's face all day. I just can't believe she is gone. It's like there is something wrong with my world because she isn't alive in it any more. Her husband is grieving so much. It has been one month today since she passed. I guess I was putting in my husband in her husband's place because I think he would be the same as her husband. My BIL took his last child to the airport this morning and said he suddenly felt a huge wave of shock run through him as he felt truely alone. He has had friends, family and her ashes with him since she passed and now it is all gone...

He is going home soon and plans to teach a couple of classes at the community college where he taught last year. We are happy he is going to do this as it will help him fill the days. Hopefully, he will be able to sell their huge house by next Spring and maybe then, he will be ready to move on and create a new life for himself. He has some dear friends to have offered him a place to live if he wants to try a new location. Of course, he will always be welcome here as well.

I hope he can sell the house and move somewhere that will have things that interest him like golf, music and friends. I don't know yet what he wants to do for Christmas. He has a standing offer to stay with any of his grown children and I hope he does spent the time with someone he can talk with or relax with.

My next blog will be more upbeat. Today I still feel tired and depressed and restless.

analysis - new appointment

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