9:32 a.m. - 2006-09-25
autumn thoughts
I made a list of things that I wanted to do once I had retired. I have been retired since July 1st and it is nearly October 1st...That is 3 months and about 90 days.
Here is what I accomplished. Don't hold your breath in excitement....
Learn American Sign Language....I bought Sign Language for Dummies. - 1/2 point
Exercise on a regular basis ....I haven't even gone to the place. - 0 point
Get back on Carbohydrate lifestyle .... I have thought about it and bought lettuce, etc. - 1/4 point
Continue writing a book....I haven't even proof read what I already have - 0 point
Put all book chapters into Word ....Nope, nada,nothing - 0 point
Change names in book so all are consistent ....ah....no - 0 point
Put poetry and pictures with the book chapters......I was going to but...NO - 0 point
send to publisher.....Ha....are you kidding? - 0 point
Clean out Master Closet....I did do this once but probably need to redo - 1 point
Clean out Master bedroom...I did do this once but probably need to redo - 1 point
Clean out Master Bath ....same as above - 1 point
Clean out my office.... I did do this and just have a couple more things to do - 1 point
Clean out guest bedroom.....I did do this and it just needs to be dusted again - 1 point
Clean out guest closet....I did do this and it is just fine - 1 point
Clean out guest bath....I did do this and it could use another straightening - 1 point
Clean out Kitchen cupboards...I did do this and it is still in good shape - 1 point
Clean downstairs...I have done this but it needs another vacumning - 1 point
Clean Livingroom ....I have done this but it needs some more straightening now - 1 point
Read Anne Rice books.....I....ah....um....haven't checked out any of her books yet - 1 point
Finish using online gift card....I did this but now I have more giftcards to use up - 1 point
Go to lunch with Pat and Chris....I have had lunch with each of them once so far - 2 points
Clean out livingroom drawers....this goes with cleaning livingroom - 1 point
Clean dining room....I have done this and could do some more along with kitchen - 1 point
Clean out magazines....I have been reading lots of my magazines, not renewing some - 1 point
So, out of 25 things I had planned, in just a few less than 90 days, I have done 17-3/4....more than half.
I have also gone to a dinner preparation place and made 6 dinners and cooked 2 of them,
I have read several hardback books from the library, I have visited my two sisters in Texas, my husband and I went to Las Vegas last week for 4 days, I visited a psychic in Texas, I have had acrylic nails put on and refilled 3 times.
I have worked on my two blog journals faithfully, I have another lunch planned for next week with a friend, I have kept the laundry up, done some mending, bonded with our 3 cats and taken two of them to the vet separately, and I have been to the doctor and dentist and had my hair cut.
Now that Autumn is nearly here, I will have to get in gear on the rest of these plans.
This is normally my favorite time of year, I always think of it as a "starting over" time. I usually start projects in the Autumn and find that I can keep up with them until they are completed.
The leaves are beautiful and the landscape can be breathtaking when you go for a walk or a drive.
It gives me a feeling of anticipation and excitement. I like to hear the leaves rustling when you walk through them.
I would enjoy several more sunny days before the cold damp winds blow through so we can spend some time on our porch watching the days go by in relaxation.
######
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day I went into town and went to a small shop on Queen Street. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy; how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a donut eating freak. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown by bus. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at my age.
@@@@
Honeymoon Willie
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said "How bad is it doc? .... I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fianc� is still a virgin - in every way"
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to et it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; ... an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon.
That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts.
She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these."
He immediately drops his pants and replies, ....."Look at this, ....still in the CRATE!"
@@@@@
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied, "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple..............
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
@@@@@@@@@@@
forgot the German bra . . . . . . .Holtzenfromfloppen!
#####
WINTER POEM
The best piece of English literature I've seen in quite a while.....
try to memorize this poem by next December.....
" WINTER "
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
/
/
" SHIT It's Cold ! "
@@@@@
Please link on the following...
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=ZS43976949
Enjoy your evening.
