8:15 p.m. - 2006-07-02
Weekend happenings
Sunday, July 02, 2006
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, 2006 TO ALL MY XANGA AND DIARYLAND FRIENDS ...
I hope you are enjoying the long holiday weekend with your family or
friends or even alone. It is a great time to reflect on the first half of 2006 and think about what you want to accomplish during the second half.
I have quite a reason to celebrate this year.
As you know, I retired as of June 30, 2006. I was given a very nice
Retirement lunch and gifts from my company. Also my sister in law
and her husband came into town due to a death in our family. They took my husband, son and DIL and me out to dinner along with 2 friends of my sister in law. We ate outside on a patio for dinner. They also had
a cake and flowers for me. It was such a nice way to end the day.
My husband and I were going to
visit my cousin and her husband on Saturday but unfortunately, her father (My uncle) became very ill and had to go to the hospital and was put in intensive care. Obviously, our planned visit was postponed to another time.
Instead, we also had a visit from my oldest brother in law and his wife. They stayed at our house It was a "mini reunion" among the 3 older siblings and their spouses.
They were thrilled to have Eckrich bologna and hotdogs for dinner. They can't get that brand where they live and they were in "hog heaven" as one of they put it. They fried up
everything in my pan including some turkey bacon and a few left over Bob Evans brats. We also had ham salad spread and macaroni salad and Krispi Kreme donuts for dessert. It was a real carbo meal ..sugar included.
We had a great visit and they all decided to leave this morning.
One couple is on their way to their new home in North Carolina
and the other is going to Branson, Mo before returning to Colorado where they live.
My husband and I have been trying to stay awake most of the day. It is always hard to have other people in your home. No matter how good a guest they are, it is a disruption to your routine. Along with the fact that I was working Thursday and my husband worked through Friday, we had the
memorial service to attend so it was a busy few days for us.
Our cats are all relaxing now too. Two of them hide when strangers
are in the house. Now they are all out and sleeping to catch up like
we are.
We are happy to have 2 more days to enjoy for the holiday and then....I will be working out my new life style for retirement.
####
HOME DEPOT SCAM...
Here's how the scam works:
Two unbelievably good-looking, extremely well endowed, 19 or 20 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk.
They start cleaning your windshield with a rag and Windex; all the while
their breasts are almost completely exposed over the torn top of their
skimpy, holey wet T-shirts.
Trust me; it is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead
ask you for a ride to another Home Depot.
You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then, one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
The same man had his wallet stolen April 28th, 29th, May 1st, 2nd, 3rd,
5th, 7th, twice on the 10th, and three times yesterday, so, be careful,
this is a serious scam.
#####
Aprons
I don�t think our kids know what an apron is. the principal use of grandma's apron was to protect the
dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.
nd when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much
furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron,
and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that "old-time apron" that served so
many purposes.
REMEMBER...Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill
to cool.
Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.
####
A Heavenly Welcome
A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself
at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a
beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name,
and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.
Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter
himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the
Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son,
we've been waiting a long time for you."
Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but Congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was on earth.
""Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"
the contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his
mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up
at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but
I only lived to be forty."
"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time
sheets."
###
A Florida couple both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely
nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment; they have intercourse with no problems, pay the
doctor, and then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry,
but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man
says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't
go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday
Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I
get $43 back from Medicare.
Good Night.
