1:44 p.m. - 2006-04-08
A Tale of Two continued.....
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Currently Listening
Feels Like Home
By Norah Jones
see related
The Tale of Two continues.....
They met at a parking lot and their grown son showed up also. They talked for a few minutes and then decided that they would JUST LOOK. They weren't committing to anything right now but they had to admit, they were very.... interested and actually kind of anxious now that the oppportunity was there once again.
All three drove in the same truck about two miles West of their meeting place. They didn't pass many vehicles on the road and as they got closer, they starting watching and looking carefully. The address was on the mailbox that they had already passed. They made a turn and went back. They drove up a long driveway to a large home with a huge garage area in the back.
Dogs starting barking and they sounded like very LARGE dogs. They approached the door and their son knocked several times. No one came to the door. They noticed a doorbell and rang it, but still no one came.
Their son noticed someone at the garage door so they approached it cautiously. There was a sign about only certain types of people being allowed there.
They carefully opened the door and walked into a room with a large group waiting for them. There were all types there, big, small, loud, feisty. As they waited quietly, one walked up to her. She thought he looked very friendly. She talked quietly to him for a few minutes. He seemed to relax and she thought she could get what she needed from him.
Another walked up to her son and talked. Her son responded quickly. They seemed to be getting along quite well. She asked her husband to see how he felt about the situation. He was willing to go along with it.
It took about 45 minutes for the transactions. They had to be microchipped and the woman had to check to be sure the microchips were the correct ones.
Finally they were able to leave with two. The son was taking one and she and her husband were taking the other. They each had some antibotics just in case there was a problem. They had been instructed on the correct dosage.
Her husband had to return to work. She took one and drove home carefully.
She went in to the spare room and looked it over. It seemed to be fine but she decided to leave it in the room for a few hours before she came back.
When her husband got home from work, they both went to the door and opened it. It was still there. It seemed to be ok. It was waiting for them.
They approached it and quickly knew this was the right one. Now they would have three. They had been concerned with the compatability with the first one. The first one seemed to be reacting normally. But the second one was not working at all. They would have to wait to see the outcome of that combination of two and three.
In the meantime, they decided to hope for the best.
And this is what number three was....................
be careful as you scroll down........
ok, you are nearly there, take a deep breath
it was.....
SUSHI.....
Oh, no, not the fish kind...that isn't it..........
This is Sushi. We may change his name to KANAB. He is a traditional Seal Point Siamese, he is 5-6 months old.
Now we have had Dakota who we rescued from a blizzard out in the country.She is about 12 years old She is a long hair dark grey cat with yellow eyes.
and Callie...she is about 10 months old. She is a calico, obviously.
We got her from Pet Refuge when she was about 3 months old.
And our son got Fargo, Fargo has the body and markings of the siamese with the lynx point markings (the striped face and legs) He is a short hair cat with beautiful big blue eyes.
Well, did you guess right? Were you surprised? If you have been reading the past entries, you know how we are about cats and how often we visit the Pet Refuge places. Now we have 3 cats. Two females (Dakota and Callie) and one male (Sushi / Kanab) All have been baby proofed - spayed and neutered....2 have microchips.
Two are young, 6 months and 10 months and so far, Callie won't even look at him.... and Dakota is 12 years old and although very shy and nervous, is staying in the same places as Sushi/Kanab and I think will come around before too much longer.
#####
(risque� but cute, J)
This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
=============
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
=============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
=============
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
=============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
=============
This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The " Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days (or you can visit her, J) of receiving this message so send it on.
If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life (unless you visit her, J). You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.
@@@
A Female Point of View......
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
@@@@@@
Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month? Well, it is and that
means you and me !!! I'm supposed to send this to FIVE BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN, and you are one of them !!! Below is a wonderful poem Audrey
Hepburn wrote when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral.
" For attractive lips, speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure , share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the
end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that
you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for
helping others."
If you share this with another woman, something good will happen.
You will boost another woman's self esteem, and she will know that
you care about her.
$$$
Let's see if I understand
how the world works lately...
If a man cuts his finger off
while slicing salami at work,
he blames the restaurant.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.
So, if I die while my old, wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to blame Bill Gates...okay?
@@@@@@@@@@
Enjoy!!!
FBI Job Opening
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. .
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow
your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. . . Kill Her !!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.
They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there
stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with
blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MORAL:
Women are evil. Don't mess with them
_____
Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
Here is the last one for today. And you should think about it as I did.
I am Thankful :
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.
FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE
FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..
FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.
FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.
AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.
Have a good evening.
