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6:35 p.m. - 2006-03-03
He did say he noticed the start of cataracts. He said that currently the choice of what to do is left up to the patient. He can give me the prescription to make my eyeglasses stronger which will help a bit. He can proceed with surgery when the cataracts are bigger and interfering with my vision or he can do nothing. It is totally up to me. Right now, I don't feel it is interferring with my vision or my life in a bad way. If I decide to change my glasses (or if the eyeglass company has a huge sale!!) I might do try that first. Otherwise, I will see him next year and continue to consider my options. ###################### I guess now it is time for some jokes to tide you over for the evening..... "Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers" This one is for all of you who: As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old son was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, he said.... "Daddy look at this," and stuck out two of his little fingers. Trying to keep him entertained, I reached out and stuck his tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddys goanna eat your fingers!" I was pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my son was standing on the bed staring at his fingers with a devastated look on his face. I said, "What's wrong, buddy?" He replied, "What happened to my booger?" ######### Mildred, the church gossip, and self appointed monitor of the church's morales, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. ########## THE SEAMSTRESS ONE DAY, WHEN A SEAMSTRESS WAS SEWING WHILE SITTING CLOSE TO A RIVER,HER THIMBLE FELL INTO THE RIVER. WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD APPEARED AND ASKED, "MY DEAR CHILD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?" THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED THAT HER THIMBLE HAD FALLEN INTO THE WATER AND THAT SHE NEEDED IT TO HELP HER HUSBAND IN MAKING A LIVING FOR THEIR FAMILY. THE LORD DIPPED HIS HAND INTO THE WATER AND PULLED UP A GOLDEN THIMBLE SET WITH PEARLS. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED. THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO." THE LORD AGAIN DIPPED INTO THE RIVER. HE HELD OUT A SILVER THIMBLE RINGED WITH SAPPHIRES. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED AGAIN, THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO." THE LORD REACHED DOWN AGAIN AND CAME UP WITH A LEATHER THIMBLE. THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "YES." THE LORD WAS PLEASED WITH THE WOMAN'S HONESTY AND GAVE HER ALL THREE THIMBLES TO KEEP, AND THE SEAMSTRESS WENT HOME HAPPY. SOME YEARS LATER, THE SEAMSTRESS WAS WALKING WITH HER HUSBAND ALONG THE RIVERBANK, AND HER HUSBAND FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DISAPPEARED UNDER THE WATER. WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD AGAIN APPEARED AND ASKED HER, "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?" "OH LORD, MY HUSBAND HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER!" THE LORD WENT DOWN INTO THE WATER AND CAME UP WITH MEL GIBSON. "IS THIS YOUR HUSBAND?" THE LORD ASKED. "YES," CRIED THE SEAMSTRESS. THE LORD WAS FURIOUS. "YOU LIED! THAT IS AN UNTRUTH! THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "OH, FORGIVE ME, MY LORD. IT IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. YOU SEE, IF I HAD SAID 'NO' TO MEL GIBSON, YOU WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH MATTHEW MCCONNAUGHEY. THEN IF I SAID 'NO' TO HIM, YOU WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH MY HUSBAND. HAD I THEN SAID 'YES,' YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME ALL THREE. LORD, I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH AND WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THREE HUSBANDS, SO THAT'S WHY I SAID 'YES' TO MEL GIBSON." THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: - WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD AND HONORABLE REASON, AND IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS. THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT!! @@@@@@@@@@ 17 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1. AT LUNCH, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIRDRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN. 2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN" 5. WHEN TRYING ON CLOTHES IN A DRESSING ROOM, YELL OUT "THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE" 6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS" 7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE 8. DONT USE PUNCTUATION 9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK. 10. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THRU ORDER IS "TO GO" 11. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA 12. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME 14. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON I WON!" 15. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THEY'RE LOOSE!" 16. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO LET ONE OF YOU GO." 17. NOW SEND THIS EMAIL TO SOMEONE TO MAKE THEM SMILE. SMILING IS THERAPY! @@@@@@@@@@@ The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biochemistry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities. The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "about a 100." Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's breasts. Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think." And the robot says... very slowly, "So............. ya gonna vote the straight Democratic ticket again this year?"
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