6:34 p.m. - 2006-01-14
license plates
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Currently Reading
Kiss River (Mira)
By Diane Chamberlain
see related
I will apologize in advance. I saw a car today at K-Mart with Playboy stickers on it. It had a stencil painted that said 4-PLAY. I thought about all the different license plates I have seen over the years and decided to check out Google to see what was available. Here goes...
INDIANA LICENSE PLATES MISTAKEN FOR FAKES
by Ben Radstein, staff reporter
Indiana motorists have been stopped by police scores of times when traveling in other states. Are people from Indiana speeding, weaving in traffic and committing other moving violations more often than drivers from other states? Does the rest of the country have it in for Hoosiers? No. Indiana's newest license plates are made of plastic, and all other states are still using metal. Hoosiers are routinely accused of trying to pass off novelty plates as the genuine article.
"I took a trip to Alabama to play golf on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail," said John Pike, "and was stopped no less than three times. I thought Deputy Buford who stopped me just outside of Birmingham was going to beat me or something." Pike explained that Buford's first words were, "You ain't foolin' no one with that toy license plate, boy!" He was certain that there was no state issuing plastic ones, and he thought the bar code at the bottom especially made it look "store-bought". Pike was eventually able to convince the sheriff's deputy to check the plate number, instead of hauling him to the county courthouse, and impounding his 2003 Honda Odyssey. He was then free to go. Indiana residents traveling in Iowa, Michigan, Kansas, Pennsylvania and many other places tell similar stories.
Hank Kuhn of South Bend was visiting relatives in Philadelphia when a Pennsylvania state trooper stopped him. "I was sure that he was joking, you know, just having a little fun with the tourists, when he said I had a fake license plate, so I joked back. I asked him if Pennsylvania is still called The Keystone State, he said yes. I then said, and you are a Pennsylvania State Policeman, right? he said yes. Then I said, so I guess that makes you a keystone cop? It turned out he hadn't been joking, and didn't find that funny at all. He arrested me, and took me to his precinct, only to be informed that my plate was genuine. They let me go with only a warning that my keystone cop joke was not funny."
This is not the first controversy over Indiana's new plate design. They had a contest to design the state's new plate, and the winning entry had the words, "Back Home Again", the opening line from the state song, instead of the web address. Hoosiers were angry when a bureaucrat changed it without even asking the people who voted to choose the new design. Across the state, the plate is reviled. Many are purchasing stickers to put the motto back where they feel it belongs, but nothing they do can turn the fake-looking plastic into genuine-looking metal.
BY THE WAY, THE ABOVE IS TRUE!!!!!
Then I found some jokes and I just couldn't resist...
############
A man takes the day off work and
decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
" They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, "What do you think I should
bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit
$3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit KissMe."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God
or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
@@@@@@@@@@@
The train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "someone must defend my honor! and put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."
Ok, that's enough for today. Maybe next time I will think of something to write about.
