4:37 p.m. - 2005-09-08
more jokes and story
Here's more of my story...
1959
The family was settling into a routine but they wanted a home of their own. Raymond and Patsy Jean found a small home in a nice neighborhood. They purchased the house and moved in during the summer of 1959.
Terri had her own room. She had a trungle bed which is a bunk bed with the lower bed sliding under the top bed. She had her little desk and chair, a bookcase and a small closet. It was cozy but small. Ginny and Bonnie shared a bedroom with regular bunk beds. The kitchen had an eat in area which was small for 5 people and the washer and dryer were in the kitchen also. There was a fair sized yard in front and the back. The neighbors were very welcoming to the family.
That Fall, Terri started her sophomore year at John Adams High School. She had to take a bus to and from school. She occasionally walked home but it was a long walk after being in school all day. The other girls went to Thomas Edison Elementary school.
1960
Although Raymond was not very thrifty with money, he did enjoy traveling. There were times he and Patsy Jean took a vacation on their own. The girls were taken to Uncle Jim and Aunt Cookie's to stay. The girls didn't like going there so often but they realized that it sometimes was too expensive for the whole family to go on vacation at the same time.
Throughout the years he took the family to the East Coast, Virginia Beach, Va. and as far as California. They went to Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Canyon, San Francisco and other well known vacations spots including Canada.
The plan was always that the family would camp. The tent, sleeping bags and food and other necessities were always packed into the car. But usually after a night or two in the tent, Raymond's back would bother him and they would stay in a motel. In those days, finding a motel with a pool was the biggest concern. The girls loved to swim in the pool to cool off. There was no air conditioning in the car so the hot weather really wore everyone out. They did eat lunches and breakfast with the food they brought along. They once stayed in a cabin and cooked outside every day. They rode the cable cars in San Francisco to the end of the line and jumped off as the cable car turned and rode it back up to the other end. They drove down the winding streets in San Franciso. They went to China Town and ate in a Chinese restaurant. They also ate wonderful seafood on both the West and East Coasts.
1961
That spring, Patsy Jean became quite ill. She had strep throat and was sick in bed for several days. She just couldn't seem to get over the tired feelings and she felt nauseous too. When it continued; she went to th doctor. wHAT HE TOLD HER WAS A REAL SHOCK!
That night Raymond and Patsy Jean told the girls that there was going to be a baby in December. Terri was a senior in high school. All the girls were excited about having a baby in the family. It had been a very long time since the last one. They teased Bonnie about not being the baby sister any more.
As the time approached for the birth, they decided to move the girls around. Terri and Ginny would share a bedroom. They got new beds which looked like couches with a table in the corner. It was very grownup. Bonnie would move into the little middle bedroom with Terri's old trungle bed because a crib would fit in there too. Finally the big day came and another daughter joined the family. Her name was Mary. Raymond had come home from the hospital with a few poloroid pictures. He told the girls they could stay home from school but all three of them wanted to go to tell their friends about the new baby.
Patsy went back to work part-time at the newspaper and once again, the girls took care of Mary on Saturdays. One day Terri had just changed her diaper and she was on the top part of the trungle bed. Mary suddenly turned over and fell to the floor - about 3 feet. The girls were scared. They checked her over and didn't see any bruises but they were worried. They checked with the neighbor who had 6 children. She told them to keep her awake the rest of the day but if she started to fall asleep to call Patsy Jean at work. She was fine and Terri told her mother when Patsy Jean got home that afternoon.
Needless to say, Raymond was very proud to have a baby girl. He carried her all over when they were in public. Sometimes people asked if he was the grandfather, which upset him. The girls thought it was funny that they took care of her along with Patsy Jean but as soon as they were at a restaurant or at church, Raymond was holding her.
That June Terri graduated from high school and decided she would attend a business school in the area. She got home about 3:00 P.M. and would usually take care of Mary so Patsy Jean could start dinner or have a break. Terri became very close to Mary and liked to play with her. In fact all the girls took care of Mary and tried to teach her things.
Patsy Jean got some Hooked on Phonics information and started teaching Mary the alphabet and words. She was soon able to read the alphabe, some words, then signs and the newspaper. It was so fascinating for the girls to ask Mary to read when she was only about 3 years old.
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Subject: Stupid People
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that= you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
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Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven : No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting...Pass this along and make someone else smile, too.
************
An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order."
O'Malley was shocked but being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where his son was waiting. "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints.�
After 3 or 4 pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. O'Malley told them they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.
After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!".
O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I am gone."
You gotta love the Irish!
You gotta love Robin Williams, even if he's nuts!
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to
stand up and repeat this message.
Robin Williams' plan! (It's hard to argue with his logic!)
"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."
1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.
2. The US will withdraw our troops from all over the world starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle
East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed
sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are.... They're illegal!!! France
will welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!! No one from a terrorist nation will be
allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be
available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5. No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will
require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the
wells filling up their storage sites would be enough.)
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray
to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather
friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans must go to charm
and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is
ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE.....
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got
a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "
If you agree with the above forward it to friend.......... If not, and I
would be amazed, DELETE
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Red Skelton's Tips For A Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested
the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me, "In the
lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said. "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the
TV?" I said, "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it! This was the good
old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word....just
clean and straight up.
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Red Skelton's Tips For A Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in
Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested
the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me, "In the
lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said. "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the
TV?" I said, "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it! This was the good
old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word....just
clean and straight up.
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