4:39 p.m. - 2005-09-07
few jokes, a story or two
This will make you think...
Sort of makes one wonder... Note the date on this article*
Click on to this website for the whole article:
http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0410/feature5/index.html
It was a broiling August afternoon in New Orleans, Louisiana, the Big Easy, the City That Care Forgot. Those who ventured outside moved as if they were swimming in tupelo honey. Those inside paid silent homage to the man who invented air-conditioning as they watched TV "storm teams" warn of a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. Nothing surprising there: Hurricanes in August are as much a part of life in this town as hangovers on Ash Wednesday.
But the next day the storm gathered steam and drew a bead on the city. As the whirling maelstrom approached the coast, more than a million people evacuated to higher ground. Some 200,000 remained, however-the car-less, the homeless, the aged and infirm, and those die-hard New Orleanians who look for any excuse to throw a party.
The storm hit Breton Sound with the fury of a nuclear warhead, pushing a deadly storm surge into Lake Pontchartrain. The water crept to the top of the massive berm that holds back the lake and then spilled over. Nearly 80 percent of New Orleans lies below sea level-more than eight feet below in places-so the water poured in. A liquid brown wall washed over the brick ranch homes of Gentilly, over the clapboard houses of the Ninth Ward, over the white-columned porches of the Garden District, until it raced through the bars and strip joints on Bourbon Street like the pale rider of the Apocalypse. As it reached 25 feet (eight meters) over parts of the city, people climbed onto roofs to escape it.
Thousands drowned in the murky brew that was soon contaminated by sewage and industrial waste. Thousands more who survived the flood later perished from dehydration and disease as they waited to be rescued. It took two months to pump the city dry, and by then the Big Easy was buried under a blanket of putrid sediment, a million people were homeless, and 50,000 were dead. It was the worst natural disaster in the history of the United States.
When did this calamity happen? It hasn't-yet. But the doomsday scenario is not far-fetched.
National Geographic October 2004 **************
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These were the Days
Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.
Dependin'g on the channel you tuned,
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June.
It felt so good. It felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.
I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys,
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane.
Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,
Donna Reed on Thursday night! --
Life looked better in black and white.
I wanna go back to black and white.
Everything always turned out right.
Simple people, simple lives...
Good guys always won the fights.
Now nothing is the way it seems,
In living color on the TV screen.
Too many murders, too many fights,
I wanna go back to black and white.
In God they trusted, alone in bed, they slept,
A promise made was a promise kept.
They never cussed or broke their vows.
They'd never make the network now.
But if I could, I'd rather be
In a TV town in '53
It felt so good. It felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.
I'd trade all the channels on the satellite,
If I could just turn back the clock tonight
To when everybody knew wrong from right.
Life was better in black and white!
Pass this to someone (over age 40, of course), and brighten
their day by helping them to remember that life's most simple
pleasures are very often the best!
GUARANTEEDTO MAKE YOU LAUGH OUTLOUD.
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Subject: Mexican Earthquake
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans from Elkhart and Goshen. (tHIS IS IN INDIANA WHERE ALL THE FACTORIES ARE LOCATED.)
God Bless America!
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here's another segment of my story
1958
Raymond and Patsy Jean continued to work at the newspaper. they both worked on Saturday and had Sunday and Monday off. This was a good arrangement because Terri could watch over the other two girls on Saturday. Patsy Jean usually left a small list of chores for the girls to do. This kept them busy for a short while, they helped around the house and still had time to read and enjoy their Saturday.
One rainy overcast SAturday morning, Terri came out of her bedroom and saw Bonnie packing her little doll suitcase. At first Terri thought Bonnie was playing with her dolls. Then she noticed that Bonnie had put in a pair of underpants, an undershirt and some comic books and a peanut butter & jelly sandwich wrapped awkwardly in waxed paper. Terri asked Bonnie what she was doing?
"I'm going to run away." Bonnie said very importantly and proudly. "I don't want to live here anymore."
Terri was surprised and asked "But why?"
Bonnie said "I just don't want to be here anymore. I will go somewhere else to live."
"Bonnie, where will you go? It's rainy and chilly outside." Terri asked.
By this time, Ginny had come back into the bedroom she shared with Bonnie. Ginny also asked "Why do you want to run away? Are you mad at someone?"
"No, but I don't like it here." Bonnie said again.
Terri told Bonnie "You know, Mom will be so worried and sad. She will probably cry a lot because you are not here." Can't you stay and talk about it to us?"
"Nooooo, I want to leave right now!" Bonnie insisted.
Terri was really worried that Bonnie would walk out the door and what in the world would Terri tell their mother if Bonnie was gone. Finally, Terri said to Bonnie. "Please don't leave yet. Let's have lunch and play for awhile. Then when Mom comes home, you can tell her why you want to leave."
Bonnie thought for a moment and agreed. Thankfully that problem was over. At least for that year.
One afternoon, Terri, Ginny and Bonnie were walking downtown to the library. As they passed an A&P grocery store, they read the sign in the window. All of a sudden, Terri said "Oh my goodness, Mom won a turkey!" They ran all the way home and told Patsy Jean the great news. Patsy Jean picked up the free turkey which they had for Thanksgiving.
The girls walked to the library nearly every Saturday. The library was in an old building which resembled a small castle in their eyes. The Children's Dept was upstairs and there were little cubbyholes where you could sit with your books and just read. It was a proud day when you could write your name and get your very old library card!!!
Another Saturday, there was a knock at the door. It was a delivery man from Sears and Roebuck. He had a big package that he left on the porch because the girls told him they were not allowed to let anyone in when their parents were gone. It was a small desk and chair for Terri's 14th birthday. She used the desk and chair until the day she got married. She left it for her sisters to use once she had moved out.
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I LIKE THIS ONE ESPECIALLY THE FIRST SENTENCE
-----Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!
Forget exercise, I'm going to bed.
I need my beauty rest...
