5:29 p.m. - 2005-09-06
Misc. items
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Currently Reading
The Baker's Apprentice
By Judith R. Hendricks
see related
Subject: lawyers
Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.
One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction."
The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating; you've finally lost your mind."
But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunning red head, face up, totally naked, unconscious without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.
The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the
beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing, but
sunburned and needing immediate care and nursing.
One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long, long time. Do you think we should ... well ... you know ... screw her?"
"Out of WHAT?" asked the other.
****************
Subject: Scrabble sentences
Scrabbled words...
This has got to be one of the cleverest emails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
ThEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
The MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you re arrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ElECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange t he letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!
Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!
*****************************THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT*******************
If you have children or grandchildren, PLEASE read this officer's story carefully. You can also verify the story at p://www.snopes.com/toxins/dustoff.asp
Dust Off (or a variant of the product) is available everywhere there's a computer.
First I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor.
He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old
because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I
still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that
there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it.
He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I
know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks
all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them
promise they wont.
I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them.
On February 28, I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.
On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife
went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am the next morning Kathy
went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work.
He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.
I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a
nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM.
I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9
through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. Its just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said so.
Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air. It also contains a
propellant called R2. Its a refrigerant like what is used in your
refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you inhale it,
it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die.
IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian Roulette. You don't die later. Or
not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as you're
breathing it in. If not, you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the
hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why
his eyes were still open.
The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe it's
huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't
fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical
reaction, no strong odor.
It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days
before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant
causes frostbite. If I had only known.
It's easy to say hey, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always effected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.
After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to
the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he
found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's
death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they
would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my
house.
We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using
Dust Off isn't new ad "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know about it.
April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his
15th birthday. And every weekday, I catch myself sitting on the living
room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the
bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder if I died and
went to Hell.
----------------
HERE IS A PRAYER TO READ AND THINK ABOUT.
IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today
and last but not least.....
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
