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8:38 a.m. - 2005-05-21
Good intentions or stuck in a rut?
My husband and I always have good intentions. We are having company this weekend. Saturday night and Sunday night. It is his sister and brother in law. We are looking forward to seeing them but....we got a phone call this morning (very early) that a friend of theirs is coming here on Monday!!! to visit with them. We had no knowledge of this. This is where we differ from them.

We keep a routine and always have. It is easier to do so with just two of us at home now. That doesn't mean we can't be flexible but....it always causes my husband to get uptight. He has a very "black and white" personality. It is either right or it isn't. He will listen to me when I offer other alternatives but with most people; he can't bend too much. It isn't that he doesn't want to, he just can't. It causes him to have very upsetting conflict with himself. I tease him that he is "anal" about most things...can't give it up. He is a good man. He always puts others ahead of himself. In fact, we both do that. We always defend or take on someone else's problems and push our lives aside. We always think that "some day" we will take care of ourselves first.

We are knowingly trying to do this more now. We have known each other since we were sophomores in high school. He had just turned 16 and I was still 15. We started dating the last couple of months of our senior year. We went to the Senior Prom together. So we have grown up together in a way. We came from different backgrounds as far as parenting goes. Neither of our families had much money but each family got along. Our basic values are the same. We believe in a higher power but we don't attend church. We believe in doing the right thing (hence the title). We want to help others in our families and we love each other. I like to read, he likes to watch tv and work in the yard. He is more outgoing, but still feels uncomfortable in a large crowd. I am more of the hermit but I have a few special friends. We are both concerned with our sisters and his brothers but sometimes get upset with their choices.

We are basically in a rut. We know it. We talk about changing it. We have...sometimes. We have gone on 2 cruises to the East Carribean and the west Carribean in the past 2 years. We loved it. We do take a vacaton together every year for about 2 weeks.. usually West. He goes to Utah once a year for a horseback riding - sleeping in sleeping bag - digging a toilet - and eating outside - bonding with other men. I, in turn, take a trip to visit one of my sisters. In fact, I am planning a trip in a month or so. He loves my family and I love his. Like I said, we grew up together since we were 17 and 18 so his family is mine and mine is his. We like that.

Our intention is to put the two of us first whenever we can. We know that time is precious and we can't get back yesterday. How many tomorrows do we have left together? It is time for us to fly..together!!! That sounds like a good plan to me.

analysis - new appointment

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